Self Analysis – My Head Hurts
My goodness! Since my last post I have been doing quite a bit of self analysis. I have gotten more of my 360 answers back. The conclusions that I had come to last post were:
- 1. My avoidance of conflict and speaking my own mind and opinion is something that I want to be better with.
2. Past child hood pains (fear of the withdrawal of love when not meeting others expectations) is something I need to acknowledge and resolve as best I can. Love myself!
3. Improving my communication skills; being able to describe my authentic feelings and thoughts in such a way that do not come across defensively.
And with the additional feedback; I am finding that these things remain the same. One of the responders was a former boss and her comments surrounded a lack of self-confidence which still falls into these three main conclusions.
I would love to have any feedback on ways to improve these things; things that I can do. Some ideas that I have come up with myself are:
- Continue Blogging being as authentic as I can
- Get active on some social networking sites where I can not only exercise contributing my opinions but where I can also meet others that are doing the same thing I am. I have been active in Social Networking but I am looking more towards finding a group that I can be a part of where I may find mentors or people that I can help mentor.
- Books – Find books that I can read that may help me with these things.
(Just got an update from the Goal Development Program and there was another suggestion on how to over come lack of self-confidence – GIVE it to someone else; so find someone that needs a boost and help give that)
Others? Would love to hear thoughts; book ideas, etc for working towards improvement around these items.
The other exercise with the Goals Development Program is working on the actual goals – 2010 goals and then 10 year goals. I had already done some work here so it wasn’t real difficult. Although when I look at my mission and vision created through this program along with the content of The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber I am re-thinking the ultimate vision of the company I want to have and the steps to getting the company up and running. More accurately, these two things are combining to show me I am not thinking far enough in the future about what I want this business to be ultimately.
The Internet Marketing I have been involved with for the last six months plays a role in the present and future. I am a firm believer that the Internet must be part of any future business. This means that my primary product and the affiliate business that is being set up within the personal development industry is part of the picture. I love teaching; and my current path has led to a successful result directly in this direction; I will be teaching a Facebook for Beginners class in the spring through Colorado Free University. Should I pursue teaching and build on to the technical aspects and then move more into the personal development and growth topics in the future. Am I creating a business or another J.O.B. What can I do around the things that I love (personal development and teaching) that create an actual business that can create the freedom that I am looking for? These are all questions that I have been contemplating for the last week or so and my head is getting full! If this, then this – what about this, what about that – WHEW!
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Designing The Next 10 Years
It has been a couple weeks since my last post and SO much is going on. This post will center on a great program I started offered through Darren Hardy’s Success.com site. So far it has been two weeks of self analysis. (It is an 8 week program and you can sign up to get the exercises (during the 8 weeks) – Click here to sign up)
The program started out by having me review the last 10 years, looking at my milestones, risks and regrets. It is amazing what has happened in the last 10 years. I have had a beautiful daughter; we have moved from New York City to Denver, purchased our first home, I have held a Director position, was laid off; started over in a technical support role after 9 months of unemployment, was promoted to a manager within 2 years and as I worked to move my way up the ladder I held leadership roles in the women’s diversity group and… started my own company. Just think – if all this happened in 10 years without goals; what can happen in 10 years with goals!
The next part had questions and blanks to fill in about what I am grateful for. The next tasks were a look at strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats; there was an exercise to look at how balanced (or like I learned from James Ray - harmonized) my life is. Each category had several questions and I rated each question i
n each category; added up each category and then the total was graphed. My graphed out answers made a PacMan. This tells me I have done a really great job harmonizing my life in all categories but one – Financial. James Ray, in his book Harmonic Wealth (Click here for a review of the book), teaches how balance is bogus; harmony should be the goal. It is like music, at one moment all instruments may be playing together and the next the drums will stop; and then… the drums start back up. This is our goal in life – to have all the areas of our life playing in harmony and be ok when one area isn’t playing at full level. This exercise showed me I do need to focus some time on the financial part of my life. Thus as I work through this eight week program I will be adding some financial goals to what I had already put together for this years goals.
One final task was to send some questions to 3 people that are close to me. There were three questions they were to answer. 1) What skill or attribute gives me an advantage in life? 2) What one thing could help me better succeed with people and in life? 3) What behaviors, lack of discipline or attitudes do you think hold me back? As of now I have not gotten back all the responses; however what I have gotten back has led me to some major self talk, analysis and time in thought.
One response was that I do not thoroughly look at all sides of an issue prior to taking an opinion.
My initial surface thoughts
- this came from an individual that I avoid conflict with
- the conversations referred to; happened over email
As I worked through this, my major objective was to see how I can benefit (and not point fingers or get defensive) from this feedback. The conclusions I have come to are:
- My avoidance of conflict and speaking my own mind and opinion is something that I want to be better with.
- Past child hood pains (fear of the withdrawal of love when not meeting others expectations) is something I need to acknowledge and resolve as best I can. Love myself!
- Improving my communication skills; being able to describe my authentic feelings and thoughts in such a way that do not come across defensively.
The other response that I struggled with, and still am in many ways, was that I have rose colored glasses and that by being too Pollyanna others will not take me seriously… and also that I am doing “too much”; That I am trying to be super woman and that if I do this I will not be able to do things well.
I have, myself, considered that I might be trying to do too much. However, when I look at how my life is coming together right now; how some things I have been doing have led to ideas, to people and to other paths that have opened up new avenues – I think that my life – as busy as it is – is just perfect. The things that I value the most; my family and personal growth are not being impacted. My work/play takes place during the normal work day and early in the morning. I am picking up my daughter almost every day from school and from this moment until we go to sleep is family time. We have dinner together; we play games and enjoy each others company. During the few times the TV goes on, I will pick up my computer but outside of that – work/play is placed to the side while we are all together. My physical exercise is also something that I will not allow to be impacted by the tasks I am involved in. Everything else – is getting done. I have prioritized them and there are a couple of things towards the very bottom of the list that are not getting done as well as they could, however it is a very conscious decision. I feel that what is happening here is that I am starting to do things that many others see as risky and that they don’t understand. As I was contemplating this, I read a blog post from T Harv Eker; and in that post was the following message:
“… at some point we’ve got to tell the ego that it’s okay to step into the unknown and dare to be different. Think of all the people throughout history that, if they hadn’t stepped “outside the lines,” we’d have never evolved as quickly as we did. We’d still think the world was flat, or that the universe revolves around us, or that “normal” people couldn’t do amazing things.
When you stop playing it safe, your spirit is free to grow, expand and create. Individual, family and social “rules” don’t apply.
It takes guts to be different; to stand out from the crowd; to break free from the “clone drone” society and be a true individual.
When others criticize you for doing something “different” it’s usually because they’re scared. Inside, they’re secretly stoked that you’re breaking free. They’re just frustrated with themselves for lacking the courage to do the same. Be their inspiration!”
As is usual, something comes to me and I see it as an answer to my contemplation and this was the answer for me on the “doing too much” comment. I am going to continue doing the amount of things I am doing as long as this does not conflict with my values, I am good. As far as the Pollyanna comment? The mind is still contemplating this one! Would love to hear your comments – Do you think that people that are optimists and “too nice” are people that don’t get taken seriously?
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30 Day Challenge – No Sugar
This is Day 1 of my second challenge. My first challenge was 30 days with no dairy. I had to start this one twice to get it right; both times breaking it – not because I couldn’t stand it, but because I didn’t THINK! After the third start I went the 30 days fairly smoothly without too much pain and cravings. I have decided to do 30 days with no sugar. I had one day off between the challenges. My hubby thought I should do more than just the one day; but I am ready to go and with the reward of homemade TRUFFLES (THANKS TERRI) which broke my no dairy challenge and set me off with some yummy sugar before starting today – I am ready to go! So, my rules…. this will be no white sugar, no brown sugar, no cane sugar, no corn syrup (I already do no High Fructose Corn Syrup!) I will allow agave, honey and stevia which are all natural sweeteners. Again, if I mess up I will start my 30 days over again.
I am not a HUGE sugar/sweets person, but I also know that there are definitely some things I enjoy; ice cream for one. I wonder if there are things that I may run into on this challenge that I eat that have some type of sugar that I have not thought about. We shall see! Stay tuned for my progress as I move along!
One very cool thing — for this challenge, I have a partner. My friend 
Terri and I will work together to motivate and support each other through this challenge. It is always fun to share and this will not only make it fun we both will have someone to call on if we need to have a shot of motivation!
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30 Days of No Dairy – I did it!
I did it!!!
Today is it – the 30th day of going without dairy. It had a rocky start but the third time was the charm and I have now completed the 30 days of no dairy.
I physically did not notice any real changes. No major weight loss; I have noticed my face seems to have cleared up a bit, although it is tough to attribute this directly to not having dairy.
I have lots of things to report on how this affected me mentally. As already mentioned in my earlier post I have come to a major realization that I disconnect from my self, I shut out my inner thoughts and guidance. That is clearly what happened when I broke this previously. That was a great realization for me and now is something that I can focus on improving. I am adding to my morning routine mediation and yoga. I was listening to The Secret and meditation was one idea for getting control of thoughts; meditation is something I do off an on, but am committing to doing it daily. I think yoga is another form of mediation but also will help towards my desire of being more fit, flexible and healthy.
One thing being strengthened through this is my self discipline. I struggle with needing immediate gratification around spending money and also other things and these exercises are teaching me how I can forego something I want and I see how I live. It has been interesting that it has not been hard; I haven’t craved any dairy – cheese or ice cream being the two things I would have thought I might have had difficulty with. Even with my burritos I was able to fully enjoy them without it being smothered in cheese. The hardest things I dealt with was making Christmas cookies and not eating the cookies (or the dough)! This was extremely difficult as was not having any of an order of nachos my husband ordered. He and my daughter munched away. I don’t think I mentioned anywhere, but outside of this one thing, my husband 150% supported this effort – so much so that he cooked all our meals without butter or cream (he does most of the cooking at our house!). He made things in alternative ways and with alternative ingredients and his meals were as awesome as usual. I found substitutes for many things that I have ended up actually liking. Rice milk and almond milk became the alternatives for milk that I used in my cereals and in pancakes and other things that called for milk. I had Soy Ice Cream which sufficed for ice cream just fine.
Someone asked me how I would move forward around dairy. I am not mov
ing forward with plans to eliminate it! However, I do see that I will replace milk with the Almond milk. It tastes good and it is better for you. I will eliminate dairy from being a major part of my daily intake; no more cheese sticks for lunch – and I will not smother my burritos with cheese anymore. Outside of that, it will be eaten in moderation.
On to my next 30 day challenge!
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2010 Right From the Heart!
Anyone out on the internet or anyone belonging to email lists is sure
to have noticed that the New Year is here. Everyone is talking about goals, resolutions and other forms of starting out this New Year right. We even had a “Blue Moon” this year!
I am no different; I too have been excited and motivated around reviewing my goals and getting set for the New Year. As I was walking with my dad on our Saturday morning walk I made a comment about how interesting it is that this one day can have such an affect on our motivation and plans. What makes January 1st different and more unique then, lets say, March 1st or October 1st? As we discussed this, I realized that it IS a time where we just passed the Solstice which means our days start getting longer (we get more day light), there is a sense that winter will be moving on and Spring will be here soon. Jim Rohn spoke of having seasons in our life, and I suppose that January is a time that represents the planning time for the spring. We can think about the flowers and the pots and fertilizing and all of the things that will bring light and beauty to our springs and summers.
I continue to feel impatience at times – over not getting “there” fast enough. Where ever “there” is. I continue to get messages on remaining patient and persevering - for instance, I just signed up for Lolly Daskal’s Messages From Within (highly recommended) and through this I received a message talking about Beginnings. Bottom line; we are all so wrapped up in getting “there” that we don’t realize that it is all one beginning after another. There is no real destination but it is a journey to enjoy each day; each beginning. She urged us to trust our intuition, trust our inner guidance and know that the actions we take each day are the right ones.
We get caught up in our day to day life, in the ultimate dreams and desires – often we don’t believe we are going to get there, and achieve it – that what results - is empty action. We can be very busy and not feel that we are getting any closer to our actual goals and dreams. There are times that I can spend hours surfing the net and end up feeling that I didn’t get anything done. I wasn’t getting motivation, I wasn’t learning, I was just numbly reading through different things. How much of this is our lack of self confidence kicking in and as we hear often – that our thoughts become our actions, perhaps the lack of confidence kicks in and the action is the mindless numbing activity that we can find ourselves in. If we can learn to enjoy each day and know that we are going to achieve the things we want, trust our inner guidance and know we can learn to feel more confident and then start to take advantage of the inner thoughts and voices that tell us what step to take next perhaps the massive action that takes place will result in great beginnings.
I am excited to continue moving my life; continuing to work on my patience and enjoyment of the journey. I want to do all that I do, Right From the Heart. The one thing I DO know, I am not quitting!
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