Why Must They Always Be Right?

August 26, 2010 by
Filed under: Play by Play 

Being Right – Is it THAT Important??

I am dealing with something this week that I can’t seem to let go, so I thought I would write about it – that always seems to help me get my mind in order.

Dealing with someone that always has to be right can potentially lead you to believe that you are not accepted for who you are.  Part of my work right now is working to know that I am worth it – that I matter.  So running into people like this for me, are challenging me and making me think harder about this issue.

My thoughts this week have been centered on why is it that there some people that press things and have to be right?  I have a couple people that have crossed my path this week that are in my life on a regular basis but for some reason this week, that are hitting my frustration button.  Maybe it is because one of them challenged my 7 year old daughter, who was actually right.  My daughter can often press that SHE is right about something that I clearly know she is wrong about. But this situation was different, she was right. (OK, so now I am sounding like I have to be right! Hmmmm??)   There are different things that happen, there are some times when someone insists that they are right and you know, like you know you are alive, that they are wrong, then there are times when it is clearly opinion and is something that everyone argues about all the time (religion, politics, abortion, etc)  I am normally able to just let it go.  I thought that if I reviewed the reasons why letting go is good, it would help me this week!

Letting it go – Why does it help you?

 

Time Management:  By not having to be right – you gain a lot more time.  In our busy lives there is a huge incentive to letting things go.  Instead of spending time on hopping on the Internet to find why you are justified and right, putting together the email that shows how you are right and then reading whatever rebuttal is sent back, you have all that time to put towards something much more important. Why waste time trying to establish why you are right?  Is it that big of a deal in the big scheme of life?  Save yourself some time – Let it go!

Stress Management:  Whenever we work on proving ourselves right; there is a level of conflict that arises.  Sometimes this is anger and more often it is frustration. It has been proven in studies that stress impacts our health.  If we can let things go and not have to prove we are right all the time our stress levels will reduce and we will be healthier.

Stronger Relationships – By always having to be right instead of letting things slide; one tends to have rockier relationships; at the very least they will be less authentic.  Many times I will avoid people that need to be proving something all the time.  It isn’t enjoyable to be around someone that needs to be right.  And at other times, I avoid even offering my opinion because it isn’t worth it which means the other person doesn’t REALLY know me.  We can improve our relationships by letting others have their opinion and knowing inside that we are right.

Ego Management – By letting things go and choosing not to argue about something; helps keep that “ego” part of ourselves in check.  Keep in mind that there are MANY definitions of ego and here I mean that defensive part of ourselves, that seems to often be in a fight or flight mode.  The more we exercise management of the defensive monkey brain turf thing, the stronger we  become within ourselves.

It’s important to choose your battles!  There are times that you should stand up! When someone is crossing your boundaries and wants you to do something, and you feel it is wrong, yes – you should stand up and ensure that you always do what feels right for you.

OK, that feels better – – anyone have any other ideas why letting go of needing to be right helps?

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