Self Limiting Beliefs

October 15, 2010 by · 7 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

What are Self Limiting Beliefs?

 The topic for the last few weeks has been about dealing with controlling people, dealing with the controlling aspect of ones self, habits, and unconscious and conscious thinking.  My mind has been centered on the topic of self limiting beliefs. 

One way to determine what your self limiting beliefs are is to look at your life. Really analyze it, take out the microscope and look at each area of your life, the physical, financial, your relationships and career.  Are all of these areas moving in exactly the way you want them? Do you have a body that is fit and in shape and have you established habits that will keep it that way?  Are you out of debt and have the money to do the things that you want to do?  Are you set for your retirement?  Do you have money for your children’s school?  How are your relationships?  With your spouse, your kids, your family, friends?  And are you doing what you want to do in your life? Do you feel completely fulfilled?  If any of these areas are not where you want them, then you are experiencing an area where you have self limiting beliefs. 

I found that determining exactly WHAT self limiting beliefs I had was very difficult.  I heard that I needed to change them years ago, but how did I know what self limiting beliefs I had??  if I knew they were self limiting I guess I wouldn’t stll have them?  I realized recently that the reason I had such a big problem with this was because I have issues with actually hearing my own self talk.  All of this self talk was totally happening in my nonconscious or so it seemed.  If you are unable to hear your chatter, chances are you are having the same difficulty.

How do you determine what the self limiting beliefs are if you can’t hear your chatter? 

Understand YOU

The one thing about making a commitment to work on yourself and then taking action and doing small things to improve your life, leads to an improved relationship with yourself.  I am now beginning to hear or recognize that self talk; but that didn’t happen over night. 

Focus on the Nonconscious brain

Because we need to change the habits, change the years of our self limiting beliefs; it is important to start working on the unconscious brain.  If we know we are lacking in certain areas of our life, we know we have self limining beliefs but we often don’t know what they are.  This is actually ok.  The unconscious brain is busier and more powerful than our conscious brain.  So if we focus on changing the nonconscious brain we will, by default, be working on the self limiting beliefs and habits.

We are so lucky to have so many teachers out there teaching us ways to do this.  Science is even studying this area.  The key is to start working on your nonconscious brain. 

 Changing your Nonconscious Brain

 As my posts have been describing our nonconscious brains are extremely powerful.  They are where our habits are created and stored.  This is where self limiting beliefs are created and stored. I first heard of this from Jack Canfield and then again from John Assaraf.  They both describe a study done by NASA.  NASA made astronauts in training wear a set of glasses that turned the world around them upside down.  They were made to wear these glasses for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  What they found surprised them at the time.  They found that after 21-30 days that the astronauts that wore these glasses continuously, suddenly had a switch.  Apparently their brains automatically flipped their world back.  Their brains were trained to turn the world back around right side up even though they were wearing these glasses.  They also found that if anyone removed the glasses ,before this 21-30 day interval, they would have to start completely over and go through another 21-30 day interval to have this phenomena occur.

John Assaraf spent time finding out why this happened and what he found out was that our brains have a RAS (Reticular Activating System).  This is basically a way for our brains to create pathways.  These pathways become the nonconscious beliefs (empowering or self limiting) and the habits (good and bad). That we create.  By working with this system we can change the self limiting beliefs and habits that we want to.  (There is a wiki site explaining this sytem more scientifically for those that wish to follow up on this work.)

The following are some ways and some resources that can assist you in taking steps to work on your nonconscious brain.

Vision Boards

In The Secret; John Assaraf explains how vision boards worked for him; how he had cut out a picture of his dream house and 5 years later unknowningly found himself in that exact home.  Vision boards can be done on poster board, they can be put together in a notebook that you can look through on a regular basis.  I also wrote an article on how to put together a vision board (I called it a vision jpeg) that could be the background of your computer screen.  This article can be found here.

Subliminal Audio and Visual

There are different ways to create subliminal audio and visual tools.  The following are some great ideas if you dont feel like creating your own.  One of these provides you the ability to change the affirmations so that they are custom for you. 

A wonderful application that you can load on your PC and have it run through a set of subliminal applications is called MindMaster.   This application can be customized so that the subliminal messages are yours and they can include words and pictures.  I have been using this myself and have seen awesome results with changing eating habits and also persistence and determination around moving my business forward.  They offer a free trial to try it out.  Click here to get more information.

Another example of something you can put together with your own images, music and words is called Mind Movies.  Click here to find out more information on how you can build a movie that you watch daily that has been customized with pieces that will drive you personally. 

YouTube has some great examples but they wont be fully customized for you personally but are free and are very well done.  Click here for an example on YouTube

As you can see there are so many ways to use some great technology and applications that can assist you in moving the habits and self limiting beliefs to ones that will empower you and assist you in living the

Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

3 Ways to Move From Unconscious to Conscious Thinking

August 1, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

Have you ever done something and looked back and wondered why the heck it happened? For instance – ever eat too much and wonder why you didn’t stop at that first helping?  Or ever get back from shopping and know that you spent more than what you had planned on spending? What has been the answer to the “Why?”? I would be willing to bet that the answer is often, “I don’t know”; or “I guess I just wasn’t thinking!”. And these are the answers IF the question is even asked.

We are very busy; there never seems to be enough time in a day. The list of things that we want to get done often never get touched. We are rushing here and rushing there; taking care of the home, our jobs and our families.

This week the topic of unconscious verses conscious thinking came up in several areas of my life. What is unconscious thinking? This is when we are not aware of the thoughts that are going through our heads. Our inner intuitive voice gets shut out and is rarely heard during this kind of thinking.

While thought is unconscious our decisions become decisions that we would not make had we been actually THINKING. If we aren’t really THINKING we make bad decisions. Good decisions are made when we can see and recognize the consequences. If we are thinking unconsciously, we aren’t asking ourselves what will happen IF.  We don’t even think in terms of consequences.  Part of personal development and improvement of our lives requires that we find out how to always be conscious and mindful of our thoughts. Thoughts create things!

We can eat healthier if we consciously eat: we will recognize when we are not hungry any longer; we will make better and healthier food decisions. (Read “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink for some interesting insights to other things that occur while eating without thinking)

We will be more productive if we consciously make decisions: instead of hitting that snooze button we will recognize that it is better for us to get an early start on the day. Waking up a little bit early to exercise or meditate, or get started on a project will ensure our success in reaching goals.

We will communicate better if we are thinking consciously when we speak to others: if we are fully present in our conversations we will recognize when others may not hear us the way we intended.  If we recognize these misunderstandings early we can improve all of our releationships.

3 Methods to move from Unconscious to Conscious thinking

 
Be in the now: While your mind is thinking about the future your unable to pay close attention to what is going on with you now.  While you are beating yourself (or others) up over the past your now will be gone – wasting energy and not focusing on and ensuring your now is perfect.  Not being in the now only sets you up for continuing the cycle of worrying about the future and “what if’-ing” about the past.

Meditate: Meditation has been proven to slow ones thinking down. Meditating will help you suddenly find spaces between your thoughts that had not been there before, giving you time to make the decisions that are right for you, making sure you start hearing your inner intuitive voice.

Slow Down: I heard this week that we often feel that life is about nouns and verbs, but if we look at life being about the punctuation, the periods, the commas and exclamation points we can pause and not only enjoy what the experience is at the moment but make room for the conscious thinking that helps us improve our lives.

I would love to hear other techniques on how you have been able to start slowing down enough to think consciously – Please feel free to comment!