Wednesday Words of Wisdom-Zig Ziglar

January 5, 2011 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Wednesday Words of Wisdom 

 Today’s Words of Wisdom come from Zig Ziglar. 

Zig was one of the first teachers/motivational speakers I heard and he still is one of my favorite. I want to share some of the notes I have about his thoughts on success!

 “Success is never about acquiring what you want in one area of life but in every area of life.”

It is important to balance out your life and to me – I feel that is isn’t so much a balance but the idea of harmonizing.  You never really BALANCE – you focus on one area and it will improve and then there will be something else that falls out of the current, but basically to have success one must harmonize the work that they do on themselves in every area of life.

“People often complain about the lack of time, when lack of direction is the real problem”

Without having some clear goals your actions and time are spent floating to what ever might seem most important at the time.  Your time ends up being spent on things that are someone’s fire, they could be yours, or perhaps… not.  If you live your life always putting out the fires without knowing what direction you are headed it is very possible that the resulting feelings and emotions are overwhelmed.   Having goals gives you that direction. 

“Staying motivated takes daily work, just like you need a daily bath”

Because what our minds take in is 80% negative (a study that Zig refers to) it is important to ensure we are working with as much motivational and positive stuff that we can.  In addition to keeping motivated, keeping up with this spiritual/mental work will help you work with your own self limiting beliefs.  “You are what you are and where you are because of what’s gone into your mind – You can change what you are, you can change where you are, by changing what goes into your mind” 

“You can have anything in your life you want, if you will just help enough people get what they want”

We are living in a world of teaming and collaboration.  If you sincerely and freely help others get what they want, if you work from a place of true service, it will get you where you need to go to do the things that you want to do.  And that helps you become the person you want to become.  

 This Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom brought to you Right From the Heart!

Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

Controlling People

September 13, 2010 by · 4 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

In my last post I talked about how to deal with people that always have to be right. During my work on this I ran into mention of a book called Controlling People by Patricia Evans.

This book greatly added to my work around this issue.  The first that that she did was describe the relationships.  She described the controller and the witness.

A controller is a person who, as a child, they were created from the outside in.  Menaning that this child was not allowed to get in touch with their inner intuitive feelings and inner self.  They were constantly told how they felt; what they wanted and if they tried to exert themselves they were put down.  She used an example of a mother taking her daughter for ice cream.  She asked her daughter “What kind of ice cream do you want”;

Her daughter replied “Vanilla”

“Oh, you don’t want vanilla, look at all these flavors”

“Vanilla is fine”; repeated the daughter

“How about cotton candy?”

“No, vanilla”

“Just Vanilla? You are a strange one”

This little girl stood her ground.  How often do kids do this?  This little girl was told that she was strange because she doesn’t like vanilla.  So, if the child does not go ahead and choose another kind, they then take on this complex that they are strange, or some other “name” that the parent chooses.  This ultimately builds the child from the outside in.

So controllers are built from the outside in; they are disconnected from their intuitive self; thus they need desperately to be connected to something thus the control aspect kicks in.  Someone that isn’t connected to themselves – they work to connect to others from the outside in and they connect to what Patricia Evans referred to as a witness.  They are a witness because they often experience the controller doing or saying things that are irrational.

The connection a controller has with another becomes their safety zone.

For someone that is built from the outside in also builds others from the outside in.  They have a picture of the “perfect” spouse, or the “perfect” child, or the “perfect” employee or the “perfect” friend.  When this person doesn’t act perfect the controller acts irrational.  This behavior happens basically because the controller becomes afraid of disconnection, they see that the person before them and the person in their mind is not the same therefore they feel loss.  Controllers will see things that don’t exist, they have conversations that never happen, they fight desperately to prove that they are right.

I saw myself in both roles, both a witness (thus my current work) but also in the controller role.  As I have done work on growing and becoming a better person, I believe that the controller in me is easing up; however – I often look at myself and others from the outside in.

Working with this information about controllers and my previous work on dealing with others that always have to be right I am not focusing in on ensuring I continue to do my personal growth and personal development work.  It becomes even more important that I know who I am, what I want and what I stand for.  I need to live my life from my truth thus being able to be the spell-breaker that Patricia Evans also describes in her book and ensure that I am letting others do the same. 

The ideas that Patricia gave on how to break the spell is to

  • live from ones own inner truth
  • respect boundaries
  • do not react to the irrational actions as if they were valid
  • build your life on truth
  • protect your children
  • speak up
    • ask questions of the controller when they say something irrational
      • What?
      • What did you say?
      • Nonsense.
      • I heard that
      • What are you doing?

Would love to hear your thoughts about this post; other recommendations? Comments?  Additional Information?

3 Ways To Improve Your Life

August 9, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

Everyone has challenges.
Everyone has problems.
Everyone has road blocks.
Everyone has conflict.
Everyone experiences a rocky road from time to time.

Not everyone works on making their life better.
Not everyone decides to own their part of their problems.

Everyone that decides to own their part of their problems makes their life better.

There are millions of ways to make improve your life, but here are 3 actions you can take that steps towards making your life better.

Taking ownership or accountability for your problems.

It is only when you look at things in your life and decide to change yourself and the things that you control that things can take a turn. You can’t change other people – you can only change yourself. Give up all excuses; give up blaming and complaining.

Looking for the root cause/core issues.

It is likely that a cause of the problems in your life have to do with resentment, fear, criticism or guilt. By looking at the problems you have in your life you can start to uncover the core issues. This is a bit easier said than done. Looking at ourselves and trying to see through our limiting beliefs is much harder than judging others experiences. Start by noticing themes. Do you always meet people that do X to you? Is Y always happening? Once you find a theme; look to see how you feel about the transgression. Think back to being a kid – did you ever have this same feeling?  Once you can start pinpointing the core issues you can start working on the healing.

Choosing to be positive.

Choosing to be positive does not mean you ignore reality; it doesn’t mean you don’t work at fixing things that are not right. What it does mean is that you realize that there isn’t anything that you can do about something that has already happened except for change the way you look at it right NOW. Look for the positives in what happened and look for the ways to try and heal yourself. Many times this starts with forgiveness.

What are your feelings on these steps?  There are many things that one can do, but we all need a place to start… how about with these 3 ways to improve your life?

.

Review: The EMyth Enterprise

April 14, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Book Reviews 

“An e-myth enterprise is a business that takes personal responsibility for the condition of the world it finds itself in; for the condition of the people with whom it interacts; for the condition of their children and their children’s children; for the condition of the very quality of life itself.”

 

This is the second book I have read by Michael E. Gerber. I can say that reading his books makes me want to meet him and buy him dinner so that I could have some time to hear his thoughts on how I might do what I am doing better. He is very accomplished and as I read his words; I feel myself becoming hypnotized or mesmerized by his words and writing. The way he writes pulls you in, it entertains, it builds a picture, it brings feelings to the surface, it brings questions to the forefront. I have gone through the process of re-evaluating what I am doing based on what I have read within the pages of Michael’s books.

Michael is founder of E-Myth Worldwide. E-Myth Worldwide was created in 1977 as a coaching, training and education company. It is now in its 32nd year and has helped more than 65,000 businesses in over 145 countries. His program is used in 118 universities in the world. He has authored 13 business books and founded 11 new ventures in the last four years. Michael is writing from a place of experience and from a place of caring about us making it work so that we can make the world a better place.

In this book he describes what an E-Myth Enterprise is; the essential ingredients. There are four; the visual, emotional, functional, and financial. These four ingredients work together to create an exceptional business. The first thing to realize is that a business exists only as others observe it. A business can not be without employees, customers, suppliers and lenders and they all have perceptions. Their perceptions count and Michael explains that businesses need to step up and DO MORE. They need to be cognizant of these four distinct group of interactions – the employees, the customers, the suppliers and the lenders all play a large role in how successful the company will be. A business needs to understand that these four groups have essential needs, perceived preferences, and unconscious expectations and the business must DO MORE to satisfy these. They satisfy them by paying attention to the visual, emotional, functional and financial ingredients. They need to have 5 basic skills in order to satisfy these ideals.

  • Concentration: Provides energy and attention needed for the right action to take place.
  • Discrimination: Provides us with intention and standards that help us know which action needs to be taken.
  • Organization: Important to realize that people can not be organized; time, space and work are the things that can be organized. Organization provides room for the right action to take place.  Time is the utilization of energy; Space is having the right tools in place in the right quantity to support the right action; Work identifies the natural way to take action, and the relationships between functions and the coordination of action and functions.
  • Innovation: Is about effectiveness. Doing things faster, cheaper, smoother and softer. Watch the child – they do it all the time.
  • Communication: Channel through which life is conveyed. Ideas and the energy of ideas are transmitted and how mind, spirit and body converge into a force for the right action.

I loved how he describes the process of getting more life in a business. The process starts with the development of standards and that develops discipline which results in the development of patience which leads to development of vision, which gives insight, which inevitably leads to the development of conviction, which leads to awareness, where you can’t help but develop empathy, which obviously creates deeper and real relationships which – the ultimate end of having more life.

The ideals by which to create the E-myth Enterprise are the ingredients to a successful idea and business.

Visual: Our first impressions are made visually. It is important that a business pay attention to leaving a good first impression; customers, employees, suppliers and lenders will create a perception based on what they see of your business thereby affecting the resulting relationship. Pay attention to your logos, your colors, scale, order, and consistency. Ensure that information is being transmitted visually.

Emotional: It is important to connect to the emotional side of people, to leave a mark. People need order, to feel heard, connected to something bigger than themselves, a purpose, to feel that what they do has moral weight and is important and that people they associate with love them. In order to reach the emotional side of people it is important to always ask questions – be like a child. A child always challenges the boundaries and asks questions and they keep going. If they get a no or fall down, they keep going, they keep asking.

Functional: As I read on what the functional ideal is, it reminded me of what I learned in Emyth Revisited (LINK TO THIS POST). For a company to be functional it needs to act great and to act great it must think completely different about what it does and how it does what it does. They need to focus on processes rather than the people. If great processes are put together than you don’t need to hire (and pay for) the best. Analyze what employees, customers, suppliers and lenders want the business to do and whether it makes sense to try and incorporate that in the way the business operates. Try and find out the most frustrating thing to these key stakeholders and then see if you can guarantee that this most frustrating thing will not occur.

Financial: Michael insists that you do need to worry about money, that it isn’t all about doing what you love and letting the money come. He writes that money has no meaning without people, that you must take care of it because it will not take care of itself and he stresses that you must have integrity when it comes to money.

The final chapter of the book will challenge your thinking and will test your defensiveness. I found myself having to read this chapter a couple of times in order to really GET what he is working to say here. To me, what I feel he is trying to get across is that we have fallen into a trap because we often forget to think. Actually, really, truly THINK. We fall into doing things, wanting things, that are the newest trends or hot new tools to improve our lives. He gives advice on how to get out of this – he says that we need to

  • Admit to the fact that we have fallen into a programmed trap
  • Be more interested in far more than just business; we must be interested in the dignity of ones own life and those lives around us; must set very high standards;
  • Be interested in how things look and how things feel and how things work and then finally in the money.
  • Realize that the economic model is a myth
  • Pay attention to people; what is imprisoning them, what is frustrating them, what is inhibiting them, what is restraining them, what is depriving them of a rich forceful life.
  • Be conscious of oneself
  • Be honest with oneself
  • Continually watch oneself

I highly recommend reading this book; it will make you really think hard about what you are working to achieve in your endeavor.