Thanksgiving and Family Complications

November 26, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

I do love Thanksgiving – it is cool to see everyone giving gratitude for things in their life. I know it is important for us all to do this everyday and I do, every morning I spend 5 minutes giving gratitude for the awesomeness that is my life, but I still love the extra love in the air around this holiday. If just FEELS good.

We have found a very comfortable routine for the holidays. A routine on where we go, who comes over here and what we do on each of the holidays around my divorced parents. We are fortunate that we have only these two local family obligations. And it doesn’t feel like an obligation. At least until one particular “newer” family member – gets angry that we aren’t doing something they want us to do.

I don’t want to feel guilty. I refuse to feel guilty. My life is different today. I do things that I love, things that make me comfortable, things that make me happy. Our lives are busy, it is important that we ensure that we arent doing things out of obligation but because it makes us happy. I want to be me, I want to be around others that I am comfortable with during the special times of the holiday. I do not want to be crazy busy only to make everyone happy. Our holidays should be filled with love, with beauty and with enjoyment.

How do we tell those that we love that we don’t want to be with them? How do you make someone understand that just because you don’t want to do what they want you to do, that you care deeply about them?

My answer, show the love. Ensure you do what you need to do for you and show others that you love them. To spite their anger, show them you love them. Be strong, Be you, Be happy – and do it in love. If we act Right From The Heart, it can’t be wrong!!

The Holiday Season – Getting Overwhelmed

November 24, 2010 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

It is that time of year!  As the weather gets cold, Thanksgiving is around the corner and as soon as Thanksgiving hits the holidays and holiday parties are right behind that.  And, if you are like me, a daughter’s birthday is in between all of this!  In addition to the normal routines and things that need to be done we become busy with meal planning, gift buying, social calendar organizing, baking goodies and for many – this also becomes a time for numerous volunteer activities and needs from schools, work, and in our communities.  It is a normal time that we over commit and over do.  We over do our commitments, we over do social activities and we over drink and eat.  Or at least many do! 

If we always do this then it is important to find a way to deal with the emotions that arise during this busy time of year (and can also be applied to other busy, overwhelming times in your life). 

One thing is Definite

Not everything will get done.  It is fact. And.. life goes on! It always does.  I have never heard of  someone being physically hurt because something that had been planned  didn’t get done.  Keep this in mind as you start feeling overwhelmed.  Often, something that you have in your mind, on your list to do, that does not get done – will not even be missed (unless you choose to lament about it!!!) 

Prioritize

Put your things to do in a priority.  Most important to least important.  This should follow your values, it it doesn’t you will find that you will not accomplish what you really want and need to, or at minimum you will continue to beat yourself up for not getting everything on your list done. 

Perfection

Perfection can be looked at in two ways.  It either NEVER happens or – alternatively it is always perfect.  Obsessing over perfection not only drives you crazy it also drives everyone around you crazy.  Your family, those you count on helping, etc.  If you do YOUR best everything will be just the way it needs to be.  And again, depending on how you are more comfortable looking at something, it will either never be perfect, or, you can choose to look at it and know that it is perfect just the way it is. 

It IS a busy time, it is a time where we have many things to do, but remember, it does happen to us often (not only at this time of the year) and it ALWAYS works out.  Being able to choose a place of knowing this… will make you (and those around you) feel so much better and in the long run, is better for your health!

Enjoy this season, be grateful for all the wonderful things in your life and listen and watch for the wonderful, the beautiful, and the extraordinary.