Thursday Thunk – What is Success?

January 6, 2011 by · Comments Off
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What do you think success is? It is completely subjective, it is different for every person out there. John Maxwell, someone who has been in the business of leadership and success describes his finding. He said it is understanding your purpose in life. Knowing your purpose in life becomes a stability for ones life. It creates true focus and it becomes an anchor in life that becomes a confidence based on a knowledge of purpose.

As I have moved into finding my passions and purpose, I agree with what he says. How about you? What do you think success is?

Review: Walking Through Illusion

December 29, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Book Reviews 

Walking Through Illusion –
By Betsy Otter Thompson

 

“All my decisions had brought me growth in one way or another. I learned that taking responsibility for the love, or the lack of love in my life, was the tool through which to create a different experience.”

“Where once I’d been dealing with guilt, I was finding growth; where once I’d been dealing with hate, I was finding compassion; where once I’d been feeling resentful, I was feeling autonomous.”

When I first picked up this book, my first thought was “uh oh”… I often shut down when I hear or see something I consider “religious”. This is something I am learning to be more open minded and tolerant of.  Reading this book gives me even more evidence that I should be more open and and a push to be less judgmental!  Had I missed out reading this book because of an initial judgment that it was religious I would have been the one that missed out.

As my aim is to do things Right From the Heart, her preface captured my full attention with the first sentence. Betsy Otter Thompson’s first words of the Preface are “The heart is a magical organ.” She goes on to describe how she feels our hearts work independent from our body system. This book is basically her conversation with Jesus made through her heart. She indicates that she “opens her heart, receives a feeling, and lets that feeling express.” Do not expect the book to be historically accurate as that is not the purpose. The book takes and discusses topics; twenty-three of them in total. At the end of each chapter there are a set of questions that deal with the topic just read often leading you to think through something about yourself. After these questions there are some more that lead you to evaluate yourself even more. And at the very end she ends with her own personal insight and what she learned working through the particular topic. This book takes you on an internal spiritual journey that provokes emotions, thoughts and an analysis of yourself.

The title: Walking Through Illusion; refers to the idea that all we have around us is an illusion. It is a life we are living; but we only experience things as we assign meaning to it and that’s it… by changing the meaning we assign the experience we can completely alter our lives. This makes whatever we are dealing with – only an illusion. As she (and Jesus) describe in her book, we are actors working through lessons that we chose to learn and work through prior to entering this specific life. “They were illusionary experiments to expand our hearts so that when we left these dramas, we had the needed emotion for the next performance taking our hearts even deeper.”

I loved all of the chapters, they were all thought provoking; however, I thought I would discuss at a high level a few of my favorites.

Obstacles: What obstacles stymie growth?

“Obstacles enter your life when you deprive others of what you think you deserve.”

This chapter deals with obstacles, whether that be illness or lacking – basically any dis-ease. The key is to realize that all obstacles, no matter what they are – are emotional. This gets back to the illusion again, they aren’t something “out there” they are “in here” and all obstacles offer some type of personal development. Everything offers some type of positive outcome in the end.

Opinions: Can we control our opinions?
Bottom line, this chapter says you respect other’s opinions when you respect your own. As one fault finds; this puts our focus on the thing that is negative and it hurts and it also will cause the mirror to reflect on ourselves what we are inflicting on others. If we find ourselves in judgment it is important to focus on finding who it is we ourselves are judging. This chapter also dealt with blaming; how we often blame our parents. We can’t change our past, but we can change our future thus it is important that we look and decide where we want our future to go. Even if those we are blaming change that will not change our problems, it will improve their life, not ours. We can only deal with us, our emotions and what we-ourselves are dealing with.

Advice: Whose advice is worthy?

“Trust that you are everything you need to be. Trust that life has meaning. Trust that goals have purpose, trust that ‘being’ is enough.”

Because I often get defensive when others try to give me advice (more so for those that are closer to me – like my husband!) this chapter hit home. This chapter points out that we are always mirroring our own behavior. Thus I was urged to look at my own life and understand how often I offer unsolicited advice. Understanding that if I focused on giving others support and only offering advice if asked that I would break through the illusion of having others offer their unsolicited advice. I now see a very interesting illusion in our family. Between my daughter and husband, they are both telling each other how and when and why to do things and I am left out of most of this interaction.

Hearts (of course!): What constitutes a big heart?

“An obsession with the picture to the exclusion of his heart created a mind out of sync with its purpose. A mind out of sync with its purpose created a body out of sync with its purpose. A body out of sync with its purpose had no reason for being.”

This chapter spoke to purpose and legacy, which, is at the top of my list of topics (am teaching it at CFU) so this chapter also resonated with me. It is important to look at the different legacies we want (and perhaps do not want) to leave. I took away from this chapter that it is important to appreciate life and that our bottom line purpose is to look for personal growth and development within our own lives.

Betrayal: Why is betrayal so painful?

“Betrayal is an act of doing in a way you’d hate to be done to.”

My notes from this chapter: If I am resenting others, I am resenting myself. If I resent myself others will resent me. If I resent myself resentment poisons the mind. If it poisons the mind it will poison the body. Basically outward actions reflect an inward action. Betsy’s personal notes captured much of what I felt as well. When you hear the word betrayal you picture something quite bad, but betrayal is basically doing things to others that you do not want done to you… thoughts, judgements, laughs, snickers and any other minor offense counts.

Bottom line – READ THIS BOOK!!!!

About the Author: A native Philadelphian with a B.F.A. from the University of Pennsylvania, Betsy worked as an account executive for WFIL radio in Philadelphia, and from there went to radio stations WPEN and WFLN. After that, she became a commercial print model and acted in television commercials in New York and Philadelphia. For seventeen years, she worked in Los Angeles at the motion picture and television company Castle Rock Entertainment as the Assistant to the Chairman and CEO. In August ’99, she followed her boss to Warner Bros. as he took a new position there as President and COO, and became his Executive Assistant. She is now writing full time. Betsy’s writing began unexpectedly while going through an especially difficult time in her life. She believes that her books were the answer to her prayers.

It’s Time

December 15, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

I ran into this as I was reading comments from one of Darren Hardy’s video blogs.  I thought it was great and wanted to share it with others!

“It’s Time.”

I once asked an old man to say something wise,
and the words that unfolded – were a welcome surprise.
He started by saying, “Tell me, son – What is it you seek?”
“Success in hurry,” I blurted, “because my future looks bleak!”
“Times are tough.” I continued, with a little regret.
Because what he said next, I will never forget.

“If quick success is what you seek to find,
it’s already been found – and it’s a matter of time.
You say ‘times are tough’ – and now look at this clock.
There’s more to these hands than the tick and the tock.
You see only one hand in motion, but I can see all three.
It’s the way all things work, just take it from me.

The ‘Seconds’ hand moves fast, so it’s easy to spot;
Soon you’ll recognize it’s the seed, to plant in your plot.
Most see ‘small’ as insignificant, but I know it’s the start;
for your very life lives with the small beats of your heart.
If those never started, or continued – Then where would you be?
Nothing’s insignificant, you see – because seeds become trees.
Your seeds are the small actions that you must eagerly take;
the seconds sprout into minutes – the right time to cultivate.

Keep on moving here, because it takes time and vital care;
we all know who won the race of the Tortoise and Hare.
It wasn’t because the Tortoise was slow that he won the race,
he proved, ‘steady’ fares better than any back-breaking pace.
Minutes are the well-formed habits that add-up to become Hours,
just like seeds become buds, and then those become flowers.

This is a tough time for many – in fact, most will quit.
See, our culture has taught that good results must always come quick.
‘If you’re doing it right – you’ll see results right away.’
But, that’s not the way things work – I’m sorry to say.
Cultivation comes before the harvest – It has always been this way!

As the Seconds become Minutes, soon the Hours will begin to pass.
You’re on the track to success, just check your looking glass.
Your looking glass is in your mind’s eye – and only you can see it there,
Look there for your results, or else you’ll begin to look elsewhere.
Consistency with a purpose is what you are after,
and vision for outcomes is what you will master.
The fruit of the harvest, has arrived in your mind,
taste it, and feel it – it’s the best of it’s kind.
Hours and fruit, you’ll have all you need,
Minutes of nourishment, and Seconds of seed.

Although success can’t be hurried, it can be assured.
Don’t be like the others – who’s vision got blurred.
The key to getting started, is to start right away.
Don’t be like the rest – getting started ‘someday’.
Someday never comes, I can say without doubt.
See the tears in my eyes? My time has run out.

Success is not a secret: You have all you need!
It’s your time to get started: Now you are my seed!
You’ve asked for success, and now have the keys in mind,
it’s not about talent, luck, or even hard work – you’ll find;
Success is just a series of simple small steps, repeated in time.”

~ By Tobias Sedillos

It Is Up To ME!!

December 6, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

This is really great!!

The words to this song is something we should all keep in mind and remember. I love that this is something going out to the kids!

If what I am is what you need then Ill stay strong that’s who I’ll be and I will always be the best me that I can be
There’s only one me I admit have a dream I ‘ll follow it I admit it’s up to me to try

Oh, Im gonna keep my head up high keep on reaching high never gonna quit Ill keep getting stronger And nothing’s gonna bring me down never gonna stop gotta go because I know I’ll keep on getting stronger

And what I am is … thoughtful, musical, smart, eight, helpful, special

There is nothing I can’t achieve because in myself I believe in gonna keep our heads up high keep on reaching high never going to quit Just keep getting stronger and nothing is gonna bring us down never giving up gotta go because I know Ill keep getting stronger

What I am is…. Super, Proud, friendly, grouchy,

What you are is….magical, special

There is nothing I can’t achieve, cause in myself I believe. Going to hold my head up high, keep on reaching high Im never going to stop I’ll keep on getting stronger; Nothings going to bring me down; never give it up gotta go Ill keep getting stronger

Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

Enjoy The Journey!

August 16, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

We have wants and desires and we want them now.  We put pressure on ourselves and our desires. Right NOW!  Our culture is full of over spending and debt due to a lack of self discipline and a need for instant gratification. It is full of people who work to start businesses but can’t get them going and then they blame others.  We start moving towards our dreams and goals and because it doesn’t happen quickly enough we stop; we give up.  We often stop dreaming or wishing for things to be different because the stress associated with our lack of patience drives us to start living life day to day without the dreams and wishes that can lead us down paths towards a better life.

“Impatience is only another form of resistance. It is resistance to learning and changing. When we demand that it be done right now, completed at once, then we don’t give ourselves time to learn the lesson involved with the problem we have created.”  Louise Hay

I’d like to suggest that we look at everything we want like a vacation.  We would not look forward to a vacation, have the first day get there, and then go to work that day.  We would not look at a destination and then not take the steps, or the car, or the airplane to get to our destination.  We must make the journey.  We must get in the car, the airplane, or take the steps towards that destination.  

Looking forward to vacation we get excited and anxious for the first day to arrive.  We get more done on that last day before vacation than several days combined prior.  Then the day arrives, WE ARE ON VACATION!! We head to an airport, or we pack the car or perhaps we just sleep in.  Each day, each sight we drink in and savor and as it comes to an end we get mixed feelings.  Some sadness that it’s ending but also some relief that we are getting back to our routine.

In the journey we need to savor the daily events, the things we see, the giggles and laughing and bird song that we hear, the people that we meet and the learning of new things we would not have learned or done had we not had to wait for that end desire.

“Do not judge the journey by the path you’re now on:  Like driving cross country you can’t possibly know in advance if or where you may encounter detours, hairpin turns or passing cars with noses and whatnot pressed to the window; moreover little if any of the scenery you travel through will remotely resemble the destination you have in mind yet neither the constellations you see, nor the unexpected maneuvers you take will ever mean you aren’t headed exactly where you want to go as swiftly as possible getting closer every flippin day.” Mike Dooley

Yes, sometimes it DOES take a long time…but look at it this way… you get more opportunity for learning new things, doing new things and meeting new people all of which will help you have a better end result.

3 Ways to Move From Unconscious to Conscious Thinking

August 1, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

Have you ever done something and looked back and wondered why the heck it happened? For instance – ever eat too much and wonder why you didn’t stop at that first helping?  Or ever get back from shopping and know that you spent more than what you had planned on spending? What has been the answer to the “Why?”? I would be willing to bet that the answer is often, “I don’t know”; or “I guess I just wasn’t thinking!”. And these are the answers IF the question is even asked.

We are very busy; there never seems to be enough time in a day. The list of things that we want to get done often never get touched. We are rushing here and rushing there; taking care of the home, our jobs and our families.

This week the topic of unconscious verses conscious thinking came up in several areas of my life. What is unconscious thinking? This is when we are not aware of the thoughts that are going through our heads. Our inner intuitive voice gets shut out and is rarely heard during this kind of thinking.

While thought is unconscious our decisions become decisions that we would not make had we been actually THINKING. If we aren’t really THINKING we make bad decisions. Good decisions are made when we can see and recognize the consequences. If we are thinking unconsciously, we aren’t asking ourselves what will happen IF.  We don’t even think in terms of consequences.  Part of personal development and improvement of our lives requires that we find out how to always be conscious and mindful of our thoughts. Thoughts create things!

We can eat healthier if we consciously eat: we will recognize when we are not hungry any longer; we will make better and healthier food decisions. (Read “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink for some interesting insights to other things that occur while eating without thinking)

We will be more productive if we consciously make decisions: instead of hitting that snooze button we will recognize that it is better for us to get an early start on the day. Waking up a little bit early to exercise or meditate, or get started on a project will ensure our success in reaching goals.

We will communicate better if we are thinking consciously when we speak to others: if we are fully present in our conversations we will recognize when others may not hear us the way we intended.  If we recognize these misunderstandings early we can improve all of our releationships.

3 Methods to move from Unconscious to Conscious thinking

 
Be in the now: While your mind is thinking about the future your unable to pay close attention to what is going on with you now.  While you are beating yourself (or others) up over the past your now will be gone – wasting energy and not focusing on and ensuring your now is perfect.  Not being in the now only sets you up for continuing the cycle of worrying about the future and “what if’-ing” about the past.

Meditate: Meditation has been proven to slow ones thinking down. Meditating will help you suddenly find spaces between your thoughts that had not been there before, giving you time to make the decisions that are right for you, making sure you start hearing your inner intuitive voice.

Slow Down: I heard this week that we often feel that life is about nouns and verbs, but if we look at life being about the punctuation, the periods, the commas and exclamation points we can pause and not only enjoy what the experience is at the moment but make room for the conscious thinking that helps us improve our lives.

I would love to hear other techniques on how you have been able to start slowing down enough to think consciously – Please feel free to comment!

The Power – by Rhonda Byrne NEW RELEASE

July 26, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: New Releases 

The Power by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret revealed the law of attraction. Now Rhonda Byrne reveals the greatest power in the universe — The Power to have anything you want. In this book you will come to understand that all it takes is just one thing to change your relationships, money, health, happiness, career, and your entire life. Every discovery, invention, and human creation comes from The Power. Perfect health, incredible relationships, a career you love, a life filled with happiness, and the money you need to be, do, and have everything you want, all come from The Power. The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power — to have everything good in your life — is inside you. To create anything, to change anything, all it takes is just one thing…THE POWER.

About the Author

Rhonda Byrne’s intention is to bring joy to billions. She began her journey with The Secret film, viewed by millions. She followed with The Secret book, a worldwide bestseller now available in 46 languages. Now, with The Power, Rhonda Byrne reveals the single greatest force in our Universe.

The Personal Development Journey Continues

December 7, 2009 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

It is ever so exciting. The Thanksgiving Holiday was a wonderful time spent with my family and so I did have some time away from everything “computer”. However, there was still time for moving forward on my path. The previous week had been spent on writing articles and this week my time turned to more training. I did some training on WordPress Blogs and have, in response to that training, revamped my blog. Although I did lose my “hearts” I believe it has a much more professional look as well as being able to take the first steps towards monetization. (If you don’t know what monetization is click here.)

One of my struggles with this journey has been the balance between doing the job that I always have done in my corporate career and the work it is taking to get my business running. How much energy and dedication do I put into my J.O.B.? With that struggle and question, this week the answer came in a combination of forms. First was a book I have known about for years but have never read. I have had it in my possession since April 2006. During the week off, I downloaded Science of Getting Rich. It was written by Wallace D. Wattles in thesecret1903; published in 1911 and it became the answer to the thoughts and questions I have been putting out there. This book was Rhonda Byrnes motivation behind The Secret. Bob Proctor built a program around this concept. There are other Law of Attraction teachers that quote and mention Wallace D. Wattles as well. Wallace mentions Emerson as one of the philosophers that he pulled his material from. The Science of Getting Rich really is Law of Attraction at its core. What I immediately got from it (and I am still working through it and studying it) dealt with the struggle of working to start this business and still working in the corporate world. The advice from this book was really what I needed to hear.  My summary is

1.   I don’t have to hurry
2.   My actions need to be those pertaining to the work I am engaged in
3.   I must do all that I can do where I am
4.   I must fill the place that I am presently holding
5.   Do not overwork
6.   Do not rush blindly into actions
7.   Be efficient in everything I do
8.   Believe in the truth – to spite appearances

Basically, I had a renewed engagement in my corporate job knowing that my business will take shape as I continue to that the steps that I need to take daily. Those steps may be with my corporate job, those steps may be my business but I will do what I can do every day and do what needs to be done every day and do each thing I do efficiently. It seems somewhat simple but it brought a huge relief.

The next thing that happened as an answer to this struggle and went hand in hand with this book was the reading of a friends blog… Mary Salfi ( Check out her blog here! ) In this blog she is talking about the same material and I took a couple key points away:

1.   Even if you are not in the ideal situation you can get there
2.   That we have things in our life exactly as they need to be

After reading this blog one early morning I did a quick turn into one of my favorite books Notes from the Universe: New Perspectives from an Old Friend by Mike Dooley

What I do, is when I am drying my hair, I will randomly find a page and read it for the day. This particular day, after reading her blog I read the following:

You see, it’s the same

With everything. It must happen in thought first. It must. Even when, especially when, by all outer appearances, your desires seem preposterous.

Anyone can think happy thoughts when they’re happy, wealthy thoughts when they are wealthy, healthy thoughts when they’re healthy.

Your life’s mission was to create the state you’re on now so that you’d have reason to awaken from your slumber. To have dreams worth pursuing and the passion to press on in spite of the conditions surrounding you. To learn you must look beyond your illusions and grasp that your dreams are indeed what’s meant to be.

This is the Holy Grail. Your search is over. Go out on a limb, give it your unending best, and never, ever, ever give up. There haven’t been any accidents, you haven’t made any mistakes, and the perfection is excruciating – you’ll see.

Carry on brave heart.

And then… I received a really nice phone call from a friend in NY who wanted to call and let me know her thoughts on my blog.

lawAll of these things, were to me, clear signs and indications that I am on the correct path, that I continue to do what I am doing each day knowing that I can’t make a mistake and that what I want is there even to spite the appearances, that there is truth in my vision and my desires.