When You Just Can’t Wake Up

October 28, 2010 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

This last week has been a great week.  I keep learning more and more and the things that I am learning seem to be fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.  Last post talked about ways to work on the limiting beliefs we have.  I met with a new friend and she talked about how the affirmation and subliminal stuff is something that she never got into.  I really respect that, her life has been amazing, she has lived in other countries, gotten awesome jobs that she might not have; all without the tools that I work with.  For some, the techniques of having a vision, and knowing it will evolve, come naturally and easy.  For others, the feelings of inadequacy and impatience often get in our way. 

There are some other things that I want to share with you on how to change our limiting beliefs and the habits we have created.  This idea moves away from creating new pathways in your brain however I am using it with these tools and techniques.  (If you haven’t read this post, you can find it here.)

This particular tool deals with our pain and pleasure.  We all operate in our lives by looking for pleasure and avoiding pain.  The problem is, we strive for the pleasure or avoidance of pain in the short term results rather than the long term. We will tend to do something that gives us short term pleasure and get pain in the long run.  For instance, I have been having difficulty getting myself out of bed early in the morning.  Why?  Because the short term pleasure (staying in a warm bed) is more important than the long term pain of all the things that don’t get done because I am choosing to go for the short time pleasure.  The following are the steps to take to work through changing a habit that you have.

  1. Ask:  what is the pain associated with this action that keeps me from taking it?
  2. Ask:  what are all the pleasures received by not following through?
  3. Ask:  what is the cost of not taking the steps; in the next 2-5 years?
  4. Ask:  what will be gained by taking the action right now?

So, using my problem of getting up:

  1. The pain associated with getting up is the getting out of a warm bed, feeling tired and finding the pain of waking keeping me hitting the snooze.
  2. The pleasure is that I get to stay in bed all warm and cuddly and I get more sleep which feels so great!
  3. The cost is that I am not getting in to work when I want to, I am often not getting the walks in that I love, I am not getting in my reading time, or my journaling time, or my meditation.  I am not getting the action steps done that I know I must do in order to have the successful business I want.
  4. If I woke up early (when I set my alarm) I would get my walks and meditation done which give me more energy for the day, I would get some of my self improvement things done (reading, journaling) which are helping propel me down the path I am determined to walk down and I would get the things done for my business which will take me closer to my dreams.

So, looking at it like this, my goodness, it is totally obvious what I really want to do, what I must do.  Even if this seems to convince you, there is another step.  The next thing to do is get very solid on why it is you want to make the change.  Write 10 reasons why you want to change the habit, or take the action.  Get very solid and clear. 

By getting clear in our minds why we want to do it and then combine it with some of the tools and techniques talked about in a previous blog, the changed habit will occur soon because you know it must.

As usual I welcome your thoughts and suggestions!

What Is A Habit?

September 27, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

In my last blog I talked about changing habits.  As I read Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani it became crystal clear that I have become quite the expert at some habits.  Some habits that people have are obvious; like over eating or smoking; but there are other habits that we all have that are impacting our lives.  In general, many of these are things that if we never changed, we could live a fairly reasonable life for the rest of our lives.  If we continue to talk meanly to ourselves about how we should be doing this or should be doing that, we will still live reasonable, secure lives.  However, if we want to achieve our dreams, if we want to take a step further towards improved lives; better financially, increased level of happiness and joy – then we could do this by taking a look at ourselves and some of these habits that are keeping us in our comfort zones.

How does a habit become a habit? 

It might help to explain the brain a bit.  There are two parts of your brain the conscious and nonconscious.  I first heard the term nonconscious reading a book by John Assaraf and Murray Smith called The Answer.  The term nonconscious is being used only to differentiate itself from the Freudian term unconscious.  Basically Freud believed that the unconscious brain had some external force causing it to do something and so to make sure that there was no confusion the cognitive theorists used nonconscious to ensure that it was not confused with Freud’s.  Today, the word unconscious is used for both.  Our nonconscious or unconscious brain is much more powerful and busy than our conscious.  The nonconscious brain controls 96-98% of perception and behavior.  96-98%!  No wonder I have had such a difficult time working to improve myself and some things around me.

Our physical and mental habits reside in our nonconscious brains; this is where accomplishments and achievements take root.  Habits are things that we have created by repeatedly doing something over and over. Thinking something over and over again becomes a habit of thought.  Constantly looking in a mirror and talking to your self about how “bad” you or something is becomes a habit.  This habit becomes an attitude or belief over time.  And then beliefs become self-fulfilling.  A belief is very powerful and we do a lot of protecting our beliefs. As we look in a mirror and the self talk chatter starts, as time moves forward and this happens every time we look into a mirror, eventually the talk that takes place is not actually heard any longer.  Suddenly you are believing you are less than perfect or unattractive,  Once this is a belief, our self care isn’t as good, our body language changes – our shoulders come forward, we don’t smile as much and generally create some truth out of what started out as very false self talk.

Wow!  So this is how things that we are working to break through and overcome have become so entrenched in ourselves that they are things that occur without our thinking about and seem so very difficult to get to.  Very difficult to see and to solve.  That – and we are working to solve the problem witho our conscious brain.  Our conscious brain is not good at modifying our habits – only at stating a goal or desire to do so.  Since habits live in our nonconscous that is where they need to be changed.

In order to become successful in our lives and in our attempts to reach dreams and goals we need to work on ourselves.  Personal development and personal growth are important to maximizing happiness.  The better people we become, the better the world can become.  Learning that we need to work at changing the habits and self limiting beliefs in order to move forward has been great information.  I do believe my work is cut out for me!

Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

The Power – by Rhonda Byrne NEW RELEASE

July 26, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: New Releases 

The Power by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret revealed the law of attraction. Now Rhonda Byrne reveals the greatest power in the universe — The Power to have anything you want. In this book you will come to understand that all it takes is just one thing to change your relationships, money, health, happiness, career, and your entire life. Every discovery, invention, and human creation comes from The Power. Perfect health, incredible relationships, a career you love, a life filled with happiness, and the money you need to be, do, and have everything you want, all come from The Power. The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power — to have everything good in your life — is inside you. To create anything, to change anything, all it takes is just one thing…THE POWER.

About the Author

Rhonda Byrne’s intention is to bring joy to billions. She began her journey with The Secret film, viewed by millions. She followed with The Secret book, a worldwide bestseller now available in 46 languages. Now, with The Power, Rhonda Byrne reveals the single greatest force in our Universe.

Truth, Triumph, and Transformation

June 16, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: New Releases 

New Law of Attraction Book – Truth, Triumph, and Transformation

Author: Sandra Anne Taylor

Are you frustrated with the way things have been going for you lately? Tired of simplistic approaches to magnetism and success? The truth is, there’s more to the process than most people realize. The source of your destiny goes much deeper than just your thoughts. Other important factors, like natural cycles, shared consciousness, karma, environment, and your soul’s intention, will influence what you draw to your life.

In this enlightening book, Sandra Anne Taylor examines the many elements of destiny creation, and separates the reliable facts from the confusing fiction that has built up around the Universal Laws. She offers a unique and comprehensive understanding as to why things really happen, empowering you to triumph over difficult cycles without self-blame or fear. No matter what obstacles you may encounter, your consciousness can turn adversity into great opportunity! Let go of the lies . . . and learn the whole truth. Your life will be transformed like never before!

New Ideas Need Gestation

April 20, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

I seem to go through different cycles of the type of reading or things I pay attention to, or perhaps it is the Law of Attraction at work giving me the things I need to hear and read.  Recently my attention has been centered more on spirituality.  I have been listening to a really great series put on by Feminine Power called Women on the Edge of Evolution.  The speakers they have for this are just great and they are all free and downloadable for play.  (Click here to register and access the recordings!

Today I heard a piece that really made me think.  It made me think – because of the space I find myself in right now.  If you know me or are following the blog you know that I set out on a path 8 months ago to move away from the corporate world.  In that, I became very excited about one opportunity that I am involved with.  This opportunity led me down a road of education.  LOTS of internet marketing and Web 2.0 education. And it has been a blast.  I have loved doing this.  It also led to reading several books one of which (EMyth) took me deeper into thought around the exact business that I was going to start. (Here is my review of The EMyth Revisited and the review of The EMyth Enterprise.)  After reading these books and moving through the education, I have created a slight modification of what I had been originally looking at doing – both in my mind and on paper.  Then I hit a vacation, a couple projects at the J.O.B. and another week off and to my surprise and dismay – no real movement forward on my business. I spent my vacations totally unplugged.  (Many have said this is a good thing – however – there is a voice inside me saying if I want to start a business then I need to spend some time on it.)  I have been vacillating between beating myself up and telling myself all is as it should be.  The recording I heard that impacted me so much on this subject was the teleseminar with Mary Manin Morrissey. 

The conversation was focused on having ideas, passions and feelings of purpose and the feelings of impatience around this, that can settle in when working towards something new.  She said something that made an impact on me and resonated with me.  She indicated that every idea, every change, has an evolution.  Like everything in our universe – everything has a path that it follows from creation to birth, whether it is a seed that is planted in the ground or a baby growing in a mommy’s tummy.  There is a period of time that things go through gestation.  This is the time that something sits and prepares to be born.  Trees, babies, and yes, even ideas.  So, we come down again to patience. Patience has never been easy — I remember hearing  “Patience (Patients) are for doctors!”  Through this way of thinking about it, I am reminding myself that things take time, not everything can be rushed (to spite how the world pushes everything) and to give myself the ok for this break.  When this is ready to be born, things will activate again.  I need to focus on what matters and be grateful for all that I have in my life today.  Remember the power of NOW!

Would love to hear anyone else’s ideas on how they remain patient waiting for things to take their own time.

Personal Development Journey – December 18, 2009

December 18, 2009 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

pers devSince I last posted we have hit our busy time of year. My daughter’s birthday is at the beginning of the month, the schools Holiday Fair is at the beginning of the month and now Christmas is upon us. I love this time of year. My daughter turned 7 this month and we had several celebrations. Her party was held at a local recreation center with a pool and included her female classmates. We ended up with 13 wonderful, giggly, excited little girls and 3 parents (due to a limitation on people at the rec center – in hindsight… I should have broken the rule!) Although handling the girls exit from the pool was challenging the rest of the party went off well. Aliera was happy, the girls were happy and the parents seemed happy.

As far as business accomplishments this last couple week, with my time being dedicated to the fun December events there have been only a few tangible results with both the business and also at the corporate job. I am not concerned with the plateau at this time. The biggest work the last couple weeks has been mental. There is an underlying theme to what I have been working through and I can see Law of Attraction at work. As I mentioned in my 30 day challenge posts (first break, second break) as well as my  Breakthrough event in Cancun, I have ran into a realization that I am not always connected to the present. I am not IN me at all times and the result is that I make decisions without thinking and I do things without always being fully present. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go to work on this and get better around this, however I have felt confident that the Universe would deliver and it definitely has.. in a couple differesogrnt ways. First off, my audio downloads I have been listening to: Wallace D. Wattles’ Science of Getting Rich (mentioned in the last Play by Play blog post) and Eckhart Tolle’s Findhorn Retreat. And thirdly, I belong to a group that meets monthly to discuss things around what I like to call personal development “stuff” – spiritual metaphysical pursuits, etc. and because of our last meeting I am reading through Ram Dass’ Be Here Now. (By the way, you can download The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles for Free from HERE)

All three of these things are supporting each other and answering part of my needs. All three of these talk about being present and being in the NOW. They talk about doing what you do today with thoroughness and no expectation or feelings of need/desire from tomorrow.  Science of Getting Rich talks about envisioning what you want. This is also part of the Asking in Law of Attraction. I spent time on two thivision boardngs this week (as it relates to the new business) and that is continuing to study the three materials and the envisioning. I have been wanting to put together a vision board for at least a year, but have had a couple blocks with it. 1) Finding the pictures I need in the magazines I get and 2) Time to spend really looking for other magazines for the pictures to cut out and then assemble the vision board. So, I came up with the idea of the Vision JPEG.   I wrote an article on how to put this Vision JPEG together if you have any interest!

I have also outlined some 2010 goals. I have put together a list of goals and written them down and do monthly and daily work towards them. This is the first year I will have GOALS and not a resolution (although I haven’t done a resolution for years!) I put together an entire list of my goals within the last year, but didn’t start 2009 with them. With this change in my life and even prior to this there was a realization that having goals and having them written down is important and has made a huge difference in my life and what I am able to accomplish.

gs

Some of my key 2010 goals are:
* Run a 5K by June
* Do 11 30 Day Challenges
* Finish my Goals E-book
* Go to NY for Thanksgiving
                                              * Redo our upstairs Bathroom – November

The Personal Development Journey Continues

December 7, 2009 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

It is ever so exciting. The Thanksgiving Holiday was a wonderful time spent with my family and so I did have some time away from everything “computer”. However, there was still time for moving forward on my path. The previous week had been spent on writing articles and this week my time turned to more training. I did some training on WordPress Blogs and have, in response to that training, revamped my blog. Although I did lose my “hearts” I believe it has a much more professional look as well as being able to take the first steps towards monetization. (If you don’t know what monetization is click here.)

One of my struggles with this journey has been the balance between doing the job that I always have done in my corporate career and the work it is taking to get my business running. How much energy and dedication do I put into my J.O.B.? With that struggle and question, this week the answer came in a combination of forms. First was a book I have known about for years but have never read. I have had it in my possession since April 2006. During the week off, I downloaded Science of Getting Rich. It was written by Wallace D. Wattles in thesecret1903; published in 1911 and it became the answer to the thoughts and questions I have been putting out there. This book was Rhonda Byrnes motivation behind The Secret. Bob Proctor built a program around this concept. There are other Law of Attraction teachers that quote and mention Wallace D. Wattles as well. Wallace mentions Emerson as one of the philosophers that he pulled his material from. The Science of Getting Rich really is Law of Attraction at its core. What I immediately got from it (and I am still working through it and studying it) dealt with the struggle of working to start this business and still working in the corporate world. The advice from this book was really what I needed to hear.  My summary is

1.   I don’t have to hurry
2.   My actions need to be those pertaining to the work I am engaged in
3.   I must do all that I can do where I am
4.   I must fill the place that I am presently holding
5.   Do not overwork
6.   Do not rush blindly into actions
7.   Be efficient in everything I do
8.   Believe in the truth – to spite appearances

Basically, I had a renewed engagement in my corporate job knowing that my business will take shape as I continue to that the steps that I need to take daily. Those steps may be with my corporate job, those steps may be my business but I will do what I can do every day and do what needs to be done every day and do each thing I do efficiently. It seems somewhat simple but it brought a huge relief.

The next thing that happened as an answer to this struggle and went hand in hand with this book was the reading of a friends blog… Mary Salfi ( Check out her blog here! ) In this blog she is talking about the same material and I took a couple key points away:

1.   Even if you are not in the ideal situation you can get there
2.   That we have things in our life exactly as they need to be

After reading this blog one early morning I did a quick turn into one of my favorite books Notes from the Universe: New Perspectives from an Old Friend by Mike Dooley

What I do, is when I am drying my hair, I will randomly find a page and read it for the day. This particular day, after reading her blog I read the following:

You see, it’s the same

With everything. It must happen in thought first. It must. Even when, especially when, by all outer appearances, your desires seem preposterous.

Anyone can think happy thoughts when they’re happy, wealthy thoughts when they are wealthy, healthy thoughts when they’re healthy.

Your life’s mission was to create the state you’re on now so that you’d have reason to awaken from your slumber. To have dreams worth pursuing and the passion to press on in spite of the conditions surrounding you. To learn you must look beyond your illusions and grasp that your dreams are indeed what’s meant to be.

This is the Holy Grail. Your search is over. Go out on a limb, give it your unending best, and never, ever, ever give up. There haven’t been any accidents, you haven’t made any mistakes, and the perfection is excruciating – you’ll see.

Carry on brave heart.

And then… I received a really nice phone call from a friend in NY who wanted to call and let me know her thoughts on my blog.

lawAll of these things, were to me, clear signs and indications that I am on the correct path, that I continue to do what I am doing each day knowing that I can’t make a mistake and that what I want is there even to spite the appearances, that there is truth in my vision and my desires.

Who I Am – My Digital Vision Board!

August 14, 2009 by · Comments Off
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There were a couple motivations behind this slide work. For months I have been cutting out pictures from magazines that we are throwing out in preparation for making a vision board. For those of you that don’t know what this is… a vision board is something that has been around for YEARS and has become more popular recently with the attention on Law of Attraction; many teachers instruct their students to create one. Although there are many ways of creating a vision board; basically it is the process of taking pictures of things you wish to create in your life, from magazines, taken with your camera – anywhere – and then creating a collage on a poster board. For example, if you wish to work at home; you can find a picture of someone obviously in a home office with their child with them. You desire that new Mercedes – cut it out and add it to your board. This board should then be placed in a location where you can look at it – all the time. If you can get your subconscious to see the things you desire more often then you are feeding to your brain and thoughts that this is yours. So, I took this idea of a vision board then I added the things that I am grateful for, things I already DO have in my life. My intention here is that you get to know me a bit better. This digital format will miss a big point of a real vision board – it will not be somewhere where I see it all the time. Perhaps someday soon I will get to my actual vision board! Until then, I hope that this serves its purpose. Would love your comments, questions, etc!