Why Must They Always Be Right?
Being Right – Is it THAT Important??
I am dealing with something this week that I can’t seem to let go, so I thought I would write about it – that always seems to help me get my mind in order.
Dealing with someone that always has to be right can potentially lead you to believe that you are not accepted for who you are. Part of my work right now is working to know that I am worth it – that I matter. So running into people like this for me, are challenging me and making me think harder about this issue.
My thoughts this week have been centered on why is it that there some people that press things and have to be right? I have a couple people that have crossed my path this week that are in my life on a regular basis but for some reason this week, that are hitting my frustration button. Maybe it is because one of them challenged my 7 year old daughter, who was actually right. My daughter can often press that SHE is right about something that I clearly know she is wrong about. But this situation was different, she was right. (OK, so now I am sounding like I have to be right! Hmmmm??) There are different things that happen, there are some times when someone insists that they are right and you know, like you know you are alive, that they are wrong, then there are times when it is clearly opinion and is something that everyone argues about all the time (religion, politics, abortion, etc) I am normally able to just let it go. I thought that if I reviewed the reasons why letting go is good, it would help me this week!
Letting it go – Why does it help you?
Time Management: By not having to be right – you gain a lot more time. In our busy lives t
here is a huge incentive to letting things go. Instead of spending time on hopping on the Internet to find why you are justified and right, putting together the email that shows how you are right and then reading whatever rebuttal is sent back, you have all that time to put towards something much more important. Why waste time trying to establish why you are right? Is it that big of a deal in the big scheme of life? Save yourself some time – Let it go!
Stress Management: Whenever we work on proving ourselves right; there is a level of conflict that arises. Sometimes this is anger and more often it is frustration. It has been proven in studies that stress impacts our health. If we can let things go and not have to prove we are right all the time our stress levels will reduce and we will be healthier.
Stronger Relationships – By always having to be right instead of letting things slide; one tends to have rockier relationships; at the very least they will be less authentic. Many times I will avoid people that need to be proving something all the time. It isn’t enjoyable to be around someone that needs to be right. And at other times, I avoid even offering my opinion because it isn’t worth it which means the other person doesn’t REALLY know me. We can improve our relationships by letting others have their opinion and knowing inside that we are right.
Ego Management – By letting things go and choosing not to argue about something; help
s keep that “ego” part of ourselves in check. Keep in mind that there are MANY definitions of ego and here I mean that defensive part of ourselves, that seems to often be in a fight or flight mode. The more we exercise management of the defensive monkey brain turf thing, the stronger we become within ourselves.
It’s important to choose your battles! There are times that you should stand up! When someone is crossing your boundaries and wants you to do something, and you feel it is wrong, yes – you should stand up and ensure that you always do what feels right for you.
OK, that feels better – - anyone have any other ideas why letting go of needing to be right helps?
Popularity: 2% [?]
Enjoy The Journey!
We have wants and desires and we want them now. We put pressure on ourselves and our desires. Right 
NOW! Our culture is full of over spending and debt due to a lack of self discipline and a need for instant gratification. It is full of people who work to start businesses but can’t get them going and then they blame others. We start moving towards our dreams and goals and because it doesn’t happen quickly enough we stop; we give up. We often stop dreaming or wishing for things to be different because the stress associated with our lack of patience drives us to start living life day to day without the dreams and wishes that can lead us down paths towards a better life.
“Impatience is only another form of resistance. It is resistance to learning and changing. When we demand that it be done right now, completed at once, then we don’t give ourselves time to learn the lesson involved with the problem we have created.” Louise Hay
I’d like to suggest that we look at everything we want like a vacation. We would not look forward to a vacation, have the first day get there, and then go to work that day. We would not look at a destination and then not take the steps, or the car, or the airplane to get to our destination. We must make the journey. We must get in the car, the airplane, or take the steps towards that destination.
Looking forward to vacation we get excited and anxious for the first day to arrive. We get more done on that last day before vacation than several days combined prior. Then the day arrives, WE ARE ON VACATION!! We head to an airport, or we pack the car or perhaps we just sleep in. Each day, each sight we drink in and savor and as it comes to an end we get mixed feelings. Some sadness that it’s ending but also some relief that we are getting back to our routine.
In the journey we need to savor the daily events, the things we see, the giggles and laughing and bird song that we hear, the people that we meet and the learning of new things we would not have learned or done had we not had to wait for that end desire.
“Do not judge the journey by the path you’re now on: Like driving cross country you can’t possibly know in advance if or where you may encounter detours, hairpin turns or passing cars with noses and whatnot pressed to the window; moreover little if any of the scenery you travel through will remotely resemble the destination you have in mind yet neither the constellations you see, nor the unexpected maneuvers you take will ever mean you aren’t headed exactly where you want to go as swiftly as possible getting closer every flippin day.” Mike Dooley
Yes, sometimes it DOES take a long time…but look at it this way… you get more opportunity for learning new things, doing new things and meeting new people all of which will help you have a better end result.
Popularity: 4% [?]
3 Ways To Improve Your Life
Everyone has challenges.
Everyone has problems.
Everyone has road blocks.
Everyone has conflict.
Everyone experiences a rocky road from time to time.
Not everyone works on making their life better.
Not everyone decides to own their part of their problems.
Everyone that decides to own their part of their problems makes their life better.
There are millions of ways to make improve your life, but here are 3 actions you can take that steps towards making your life better.
Taking ownership or accountability for your problems.
It is only when you look at things in your life and decide to change yourself and the things that you control that things can take a turn. You can’t change other people – you can only change yourself. Give up all excuses; give up blaming and complaining.
Looking for the root cause/core issues.
It is likely that a cause of the problems in your life have to do with resentment, fear, criticism or guilt. By looking at the problems you have in your life you can start to uncover the core issues. This is a bit easier said than done. Looking at ourselves and trying to see through our limiting beliefs is much harder than judging others experiences. Start by noticing themes. Do you always meet people that do X to you? Is Y always happening? Once you find a theme; look to see how you feel about the transgression. Think back to being a kid – did you ever have this same feeling? Once you can start pinpointing the core issues you can start working on the healing.
Choosing to be positive.
Choosing to be positive does not mean you ignore reality; it doesn’t mean you don’t work at fixing things that are not right. What it does mean is that you realize that there isn’t anything that you can do about something that has already happened except for change the way you look at it right NOW. Look for the positives in what happened and look for the ways to try and heal yourself. Many times this starts with forgiveness.
What are your feelings on these steps? There are many things that one can do, but we all need a place to start… how about with these 3 ways to improve your life?
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Popularity: 3% [?]
3 Ways to Move From Unconscious to Conscious Thinking
Have you ever done something and looked back and wondered why the heck it happened? For ins
tance – ever eat too much and wonder why you didn’t stop at that first helping? Or ever get back from shopping and know that you spent more than what you had planned on spending? What has been the answer to the “Why?”? I would be willing to bet that the answer is often, “I don’t know”; or “I guess I just wasn’t thinking!”. And these are the answers IF the question is even asked.
We are very busy; there never seems to be enough time in a day. The list of things that we want to get done often never get touched. We are rushing here and rushing there; taking care of the home, our jobs and our families.
This week the topic of unconscious verses conscious thinking came up in several areas of my life. What is unconscious thinking? This is when we are not aware of the thoughts that are going through our heads. Our inner intuitive voice gets shut out and is rarely heard during this kind of thinking.
While thought is unconscious our decisions become decisions that we would not make had we been actually 
THINKING. If we aren’t really THINKING we make bad decisions. Good decisions are made when we can see and recognize the consequences. If we are thinking unconsciously, we aren’t asking ourselves what will happen IF. We don’t even think in terms of consequences. Part of personal development and improvement of our lives requires that we find out how to always be conscious and mindful of our thoughts. Thoughts create things!
We can eat healthier if we consciously eat: we will recognize when we are not hungry any longer; we will make better and healthier food decisions. (Read “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink for some interesting insights to other things that occur while eating without thinking)
We will be more productive if we consciously make decisions: instead of hitting that snooze button we will recognize that it is better for us to get an early start on the day. Waking up a little bit early to exercise or meditate, or get started on a project will ensure our success in reaching goals.
We will communicate better if we are thinking consciously when we speak to others: if we are fully present in our conversations we will recognize when others may not hear us the way we intended. If we recognize these misunderstandings early we can improve all of our releationships.
3 Methods to move from Unconscious to Conscious thinking
Be in the now: While your mind is thinking about the future your unable to pay close attention to what is going on with you now. While you are beating yourself (or others) up over the past your now will be gone - wasting energy and not focusing on and ensuring your now is perfect. Not being in the now only sets you up for continuing the cycle of worrying about the future and “what if’-ing” about the past.
Meditate: Meditation has been proven to slow ones thinking down. Meditating will help you suddenly find spaces between your thoughts that had not been there before, giving you time to make the decisions that are right for you, making sure you start hearing your inner intuitive voice.
Slow Down: I heard this week that we often feel that life is about nouns and verbs, but if we look at life being about the punctuation, the periods, the commas and exclamation points we can pause and not only enjoy what the experience is at the moment but make room for the conscious thinking that helps us improve our lives.
I would love to hear other techniques on how you have been able to start slowing down enough to think consciously – Please feel free to comment!
Popularity: 9% [?]
The Power – by Rhonda Byrne NEW RELEASE
The Power by Rhonda Byrne
The Secret revealed the law of attraction. Now Rhonda Byrne reveals the greatest power in the universe — The Power to have anything you want. In this book you will come to understand that all it takes is just one thing to change your relationships, money, health, happiness, career, and your entire life. Every discovery, invention, and human creation comes from The Power. Perfect health, incredible relationships, a career you love, a life filled with happiness, and the money you need to be, do, and have everything you want, all come from The Power. The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power — to have everything good in your life — is inside you. To create anything, to change anything, all it takes is just one thing…THE POWER.
About the Author
Rhonda Byrne’s intention is to bring joy to billions. She began her journey with The Secret film, viewed by millions. She followed with The Secret book, a worldwide bestseller now available in 46 languages. Now, with The Power, Rhonda Byrne reveals the single greatest force in our Universe.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Truth, Triumph, and Transformation
New Law of Attraction Book – Truth, Triumph, and Transformation
Author: Sandra Anne Taylor
Are you frustrated with the way things have been going for you lately? Tired of simplistic approaches to magnetism and success? The truth is, there’s more to the process than most people realize. The source of your destiny goes much deeper than just your thoughts. Other important factors, like natural cycles, shared consciousness, karma, environment, and your soul’s intention, will influence what you draw to your life.
In this enlightening book, Sandra Anne Taylor examines the many elements of destiny creation, and separates the reliable facts from the confusing fiction that has built up around the Universal Laws. She offers a unique and comprehensive understanding as to why things really happen, empowering you to triumph over difficult cycles without self-blame or fear. No matter what obstacles you may encounter, your consciousness can turn adversity into great opportunity! Let go of the lies . . . and learn the whole truth. Your life will be transformed like never before!
Popularity: 4% [?]
New Release: Life By Design
New Release: Life By Design by: Tom Ferry
6 Steps To An Extraordinary You!
Writing this book is the culmination of 20,000 hours of coaching clients on choosing to have a life–By Design. It is full of valuable and unforgettable lessons that I wanted to share with the world. I’ve been given unprecedented insight about what kills performance or what stops people from truly living a life that they really, and I mean really, love. I believe that one of my missions in life is to touch people’s lives in a way so they can benefit from my experience and expertise on how to live their best life–By Design. The most effective way to fulfill my dream was to write this book, which will not only impact people in a positive way, but will also empower them to do the little things that create the necessary shift to make their lives extraordinary.
There is another reason I wrote this book–and this one is more personal. I am the father of two boys who I strive to be the most exceptional role model for. There have been many times in my life where I have faced massive adversity or found myself having to make some very difficult decisions. The first thought that comes to my mind in those situations is always, “if I weren’t here to finish raising these two boys, what would I want them to know so they could go on with their lives and become extraordinary men?”
Some of the most important and poignant life lessons I have learned are among the many stories I share in Life! By Design–which I consider to be a blueprint for my boys to get to where they will want to go in life. It isn’t the story of how I got to where I am so much as a treasure map meant to lead you toward achieving whatever it is you desire in your own life, whether it’s a loving, passionate relationship, a career you excel in because you actually enjoy what you’re doing for work, or having great health and vitality.
Whatever you desire, Life! By Design will help you get there. It isn’t easy and it will challenge you in ways that may make you think twice, but I promise you one thing. If you read and then apply the basic principle’s contained in the pages of my book, you will be infinitely happier and more content and you will learn to take responsibility for your life so you can go out and become the best you that you were meant to be. Are you ready for change? Are you ready to be challenged? Are you ready to live… By Design?
Popularity: 6% [?]
New Ideas Need Gestation
I seem to go through different cycles of the type of reading or things I pay attention to, or perhaps it is the Law of Attraction at work giving me the things I need to hear and read. Recently my attention has been centered more on spirituality. I have been listening to a really great series put on by Feminine Power called Women on the Edge of Evolution. The speakers they have for this are just great and they are all free and downloadable for play. (Click here to register and access the recordings!)
Today I heard a piece that really made me think. It made me think – because of the space I find myself in right now. If you know me or are following the blog you know that I set out on a path 8 months ago to move away from the corporate world. In that, I became very excited about one opportunity that I am involved with. This opportunity led me down a road of education. LOTS of internet marketing and Web 2.0 education. And it has been a blast. I have loved doing this. It also led to reading several books one of which (EMyth) took me deeper into thought around the exact business that I was going to start. (Here is my review of The EMyth Revisited and the review of The EMyth Enterprise.) After reading these books and moving through the education, I have created a slight modification of what I had been originally looking at doing – both in my mind and on paper. Then I hit a vacation, a couple projects at the J.O.B. and another week off and to my surprise and dismay – no real movement forward on my business. I spent my vacations totally unplugged. (Many have said this is a good thing – however – there is a voice inside me saying if I want to start a business then I need to spend some time on it.) I have been vacillating between beating myself up and telling myself all is as it should be. The recording I heard that impacted me so much on this subject was the teleseminar with Mary Manin Morrissey.
The conversation was focused on having ideas, passions and feelings of purpose and the feelings of impatience around this, that can settle in when working towards something new. She said something that made an impact on me and resonated with me. She indicated that every idea, every change, has an evolution. Like everything in our universe – everything has a path that it follows from creation to birth, whether it is a seed that is planted in the ground or a baby growing in a mommy’s tummy. There is a period of time that things go through gestation. This is the time that something sits and prepares to be born. Trees, babies, and yes, even ideas. So, we come down again to patience. Patience has never been easy — I remember hearing “Patience (Patients) are for doctors!” Through this way of thinking about it, I am reminding myself that things take time, not everything can be rushed (to spite how the world pushes everything) and to give myself the ok for this break. When this is ready to be born, things will activate again. I need to focus on what matters and be grateful for all that I have in my life today. Remember the power of NOW!
Would love to hear anyone else’s ideas on how they remain patient waiting for things to take their own time.
Popularity: 10% [?]
Review: The EMyth Enterprise
“An e-myth enterprise is a business that takes personal responsibility for the condition of the world it finds itself in; for the condition of the people with whom it interacts; for the condition of their children and their children’s children; for the condition of the very quality of life itself.”
This is the second book I have read by Michael E. Gerber. I can say that reading his books makes me want to meet him and buy him dinner so that I could have some time to hear his thoughts on how I might do what I am doing better. He is very accomplished and as I read his words; I feel myself becoming hypnotized or mesmerized by his 
words and writing. The way he writes pulls you in, it entertains, it builds a picture, it brings feelings to the surface, it brings questions to the forefront. I have gone through the process of re-evaluating what I am doing based on what I have read within the pages of Michael’s books.
Michael is founder of E-Myth Worldwide. E-Myth Worldwide was created in 1977 as a coaching, training and education company. It is now in its 32nd year and has helped more than 65,000 businesses in over 145 countries. His program is used in 118 universities in the world. He has authored 13 business books and founded 11 new ventures in the last four years. Michael is writing from a place of experience and from a place of caring about us making it work so that we can make the world a better place.
In this book he describes what an E-Myth Enterprise is; the essential ingredients. There are four; the visual, emotional, functional, and financial. These four ingredients work together to create an exceptional business. The first thing to realize is that a business exists only as others observe it. A business can not be without employees, customers, suppliers and lenders and they all have perceptions. Their perceptions count and Michael explains that businesses need to step up and DO MORE. They need to be cognizant of these four distinct group of interactions – the employees, the customers, the suppliers and the lenders all play a large role in how successful the company will be. A business needs to understand that these four groups have essential needs, perceived preferences, and unconscious expectations and the business must DO MORE to satisfy these. They satisfy them by paying attention to the visual, emotional, functional and financial ingredients. They need to have 5 basic skills in order to satisfy these ideals.
- Concentration: Provides energy and attention needed for the right action to take place.
- Discrimination: Provides us with intention and standards that help us know which action needs to be taken.
- Organization: Important to realize that people can not be organized; time, space and work are the things that can be organized. Organization provides room for the right action to take place. Time is the utilization of energy; Space is having the right tools in place in the right quantity to support the right action; Work identifies the natural way to take action, and the relationships between functions and the coordination of action and functions.
- Innovation: Is about effectiveness. Doing things faster, cheaper, smoother and softer. Watch the child – they do it all the time.
- Communication: Channel through which life is conveyed. Ideas and the energy of ideas are transmitted and how mind, spirit and body converge into a force for the right action.
I loved how he describes the process of getting more life in a business. The process starts with the development of standards and that develops discipline which results in the development of patience which leads to development of vision, which gives insight, which inevitably leads to the development of conviction, which leads to awareness, where you can’t help but develop empathy, which obviously creates deeper and real relationships which – the ultimate end of having more life.
The ideals by which to create the E-myth Enterprise are the ingredients to a successful idea and business.
Visual: Our first impressions are made visually. It is important that a business pay attention to leaving a good first impression; customers, employees, suppliers and lenders will create a perception based on what they see of your business thereby affecting the resulting relationship. Pay attention to your logos, your colors, scale, order, and consistency. Ensure that information is being transmitted visually.
Emotional: It is important to connect to the emotional side of people, to leave a mark. People need order, to feel heard, connected to something bigger than themselves, a purpose, to feel that what they do has moral weight and is important and that people they associate with love them. In order to reach the emotional side of people it is important to always ask questions – be like a child. A child always challenges the boundaries and asks questions and they keep going. If they get a no or fall down, they keep going, they keep asking.
Functional: As I read on what the functional ideal is, it reminded me of what I learned in Emyth Revisited (LINK TO THIS POST). For a company to be functional it needs to act great and to act great it must think completely different about what it does and how it does what it does. They need to focus on processes rather than the people. If great processes are put together than you don’t need to hire (and pay for) the best. Analyze what employees, customers, suppliers and lenders want the business to do and whether it makes sense to try and incorporate that in the way the business operates. Try and find out the most frustrating thing to these key stakeholders and then see if you can guarantee that this most frustrating thing will not occur.
Financial: Michael insists that you do need to worry about money, that it isn’t all about doing what you love and letting the money come. He writes that money has no meaning without people, that you must take care of it because it will not take care of itself and he stresses that you must have integrity when it comes to money.
The final chapter of the book will challenge your thinking and will test your defensiveness. I found myself having to read this chapter a couple of times in order to really GET what he is working to say here. To me, what I feel he is trying to get across is that we have fallen into a trap because we often forget to think. Actually, really, truly THINK. We fall into doing things, wanting things, that are the newest trends or hot new tools to improve our lives. He gives advice on how to get out of this – he says that we need to
- Admit to the fact that we have fallen into a programmed trap
- Be more interested in far more than just business; we must be interested in the dignity of ones own life and those lives around us; must set very high standards;
- Be interested in how things look and how things feel and how things work and then finally in the money.
- Realize that the economic model is a myth
- Pay attention to people; what is imprisoning them, what is frustrating them, what is inhibiting them, what is restraining them, what is depriving them of a rich forceful life.
- Be conscious of oneself
- Be honest with oneself
- Continually watch oneself
I highly recommend reading this book; it will make you really think hard about what you are working to achieve in your endeavor.
Popularity: 10% [?]
30 Day Challenge – No Alcohol – DONE!
March 24th marked my 30th day of No Alcohol! It was completed successfully.
Out of all my challenges thus far this year, I thought this would be the hardest. This challenge was definitely challenging but I did find it easier than I had expected it to be. As mentioned in a prior post, my drinking habits consist of a couple glasses of wine – 5 days a week on average. In addition to my normal lifestyle there were several extra-curricular social activities over the month that I would have normally had a drink that would have helped me feel more comfortable. Being able to go through these events without this crutch was satisfying. It was satisfying to have made it through these without drinking and dealing directly with my typical feelings of inadequacy while in these types of social settings. (Something that I continue to work on!)
As far as health, this challenge made very little impact here. I didn’t have any weight loss however what I did notice was that I was able to sleep much better – deeper really.
Going forward I will be cutting back my intake for two reasons. One, I do believe it is healthier for me both for my physical health but also my mental health and two, as we work to pay off our debt this will definitely help us save some on outgoing expenditures (did I ever mention that we tend to like more expensive wines?)
These challenges have been great for me on different levels. I have felt that exercising this “will” is good for me. I do find that I am finding some other impulse activities being easier to slow down and make real decisions around. So, on to my next challenges!
Popularity: 7% [?]
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