Thursday Thunk – What is Success?

January 6, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Thursday Thunk 

What do you think success is? It is completely subjective, it is different for every person out there. John Maxwell, someone who has been in the business of leadership and success describes his finding. He said it is understanding your purpose in life. Knowing your purpose in life becomes a stability for ones life. It creates true focus and it becomes an anchor in life that becomes a confidence based on a knowledge of purpose.

As I have moved into finding my passions and purpose, I agree with what he says. How about you? What do you think success is?

It’s Time

December 15, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

I ran into this as I was reading comments from one of Darren Hardy’s video blogs.  I thought it was great and wanted to share it with others!

“It’s Time.”

I once asked an old man to say something wise,
and the words that unfolded – were a welcome surprise.
He started by saying, “Tell me, son – What is it you seek?”
“Success in hurry,” I blurted, “because my future looks bleak!”
“Times are tough.” I continued, with a little regret.
Because what he said next, I will never forget.

“If quick success is what you seek to find,
it’s already been found – and it’s a matter of time.
You say ‘times are tough’ – and now look at this clock.
There’s more to these hands than the tick and the tock.
You see only one hand in motion, but I can see all three.
It’s the way all things work, just take it from me.

The ‘Seconds’ hand moves fast, so it’s easy to spot;
Soon you’ll recognize it’s the seed, to plant in your plot.
Most see ‘small’ as insignificant, but I know it’s the start;
for your very life lives with the small beats of your heart.
If those never started, or continued – Then where would you be?
Nothing’s insignificant, you see – because seeds become trees.
Your seeds are the small actions that you must eagerly take;
the seconds sprout into minutes – the right time to cultivate.

Keep on moving here, because it takes time and vital care;
we all know who won the race of the Tortoise and Hare.
It wasn’t because the Tortoise was slow that he won the race,
he proved, ‘steady’ fares better than any back-breaking pace.
Minutes are the well-formed habits that add-up to become Hours,
just like seeds become buds, and then those become flowers.

This is a tough time for many – in fact, most will quit.
See, our culture has taught that good results must always come quick.
‘If you’re doing it right – you’ll see results right away.’
But, that’s not the way things work – I’m sorry to say.
Cultivation comes before the harvest – It has always been this way!

As the Seconds become Minutes, soon the Hours will begin to pass.
You’re on the track to success, just check your looking glass.
Your looking glass is in your mind’s eye – and only you can see it there,
Look there for your results, or else you’ll begin to look elsewhere.
Consistency with a purpose is what you are after,
and vision for outcomes is what you will master.
The fruit of the harvest, has arrived in your mind,
taste it, and feel it – it’s the best of it’s kind.
Hours and fruit, you’ll have all you need,
Minutes of nourishment, and Seconds of seed.

Although success can’t be hurried, it can be assured.
Don’t be like the others – who’s vision got blurred.
The key to getting started, is to start right away.
Don’t be like the rest – getting started ‘someday’.
Someday never comes, I can say without doubt.
See the tears in my eyes? My time has run out.

Success is not a secret: You have all you need!
It’s your time to get started: Now you are my seed!
You’ve asked for success, and now have the keys in mind,
it’s not about talent, luck, or even hard work – you’ll find;
Success is just a series of simple small steps, repeated in time.”

~ By Tobias Sedillos

It Is Up To ME!!

December 6, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

This is really great!!

The words to this song is something we should all keep in mind and remember. I love that this is something going out to the kids!

If what I am is what you need then Ill stay strong that’s who I’ll be and I will always be the best me that I can be
There’s only one me I admit have a dream I ‘ll follow it I admit it’s up to me to try

Oh, Im gonna keep my head up high keep on reaching high never gonna quit Ill keep getting stronger And nothing’s gonna bring me down never gonna stop gotta go because I know I’ll keep on getting stronger

And what I am is … thoughtful, musical, smart, eight, helpful, special

There is nothing I can’t achieve because in myself I believe in gonna keep our heads up high keep on reaching high never going to quit Just keep getting stronger and nothing is gonna bring us down never giving up gotta go because I know Ill keep getting stronger

What I am is…. Super, Proud, friendly, grouchy,

What you are is….magical, special

There is nothing I can’t achieve, cause in myself I believe. Going to hold my head up high, keep on reaching high Im never going to stop I’ll keep on getting stronger; Nothings going to bring me down; never give it up gotta go Ill keep getting stronger

The Holiday Season – Getting Overwhelmed

November 24, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

It is that time of year!  As the weather gets cold, Thanksgiving is around the corner and as soon as Thanksgiving hits the holidays and holiday parties are right behind that.  And, if you are like me, a daughter’s birthday is in between all of this!  In addition to the normal routines and things that need to be done we become busy with meal planning, gift buying, social calendar organizing, baking goodies and for many – this also becomes a time for numerous volunteer activities and needs from schools, work, and in our communities.  It is a normal time that we over commit and over do.  We over do our commitments, we over do social activities and we over drink and eat.  Or at least many do! 

If we always do this then it is important to find a way to deal with the emotions that arise during this busy time of year (and can also be applied to other busy, overwhelming times in your life). 

One thing is Definite

Not everything will get done.  It is fact. And.. life goes on! It always does.  I have never heard of  someone being physically hurt because something that had been planned  didn’t get done.  Keep this in mind as you start feeling overwhelmed.  Often, something that you have in your mind, on your list to do, that does not get done – will not even be missed (unless you choose to lament about it!!!) 

Prioritize

Put your things to do in a priority.  Most important to least important.  This should follow your values, it it doesn’t you will find that you will not accomplish what you really want and need to, or at minimum you will continue to beat yourself up for not getting everything on your list done. 

Perfection

Perfection can be looked at in two ways.  It either NEVER happens or – alternatively it is always perfect.  Obsessing over perfection not only drives you crazy it also drives everyone around you crazy.  Your family, those you count on helping, etc.  If you do YOUR best everything will be just the way it needs to be.  And again, depending on how you are more comfortable looking at something, it will either never be perfect, or, you can choose to look at it and know that it is perfect just the way it is. 

It IS a busy time, it is a time where we have many things to do, but remember, it does happen to us often (not only at this time of the year) and it ALWAYS works out.  Being able to choose a place of knowing this… will make you (and those around you) feel so much better and in the long run, is better for your health!

Enjoy this season, be grateful for all the wonderful things in your life and listen and watch for the wonderful, the beautiful, and the extraordinary.

When You Just Can’t Wake Up

October 28, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

This last week has been a great week.  I keep learning more and more and the things that I am learning seem to be fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.  Last post talked about ways to work on the limiting beliefs we have.  I met with a new friend and she talked about how the affirmation and subliminal stuff is something that she never got into.  I really respect that, her life has been amazing, she has lived in other countries, gotten awesome jobs that she might not have; all without the tools that I work with.  For some, the techniques of having a vision, and knowing it will evolve, come naturally and easy.  For others, the feelings of inadequacy and impatience often get in our way. 

There are some other things that I want to share with you on how to change our limiting beliefs and the habits we have created.  This idea moves away from creating new pathways in your brain however I am using it with these tools and techniques.  (If you haven’t read this post, you can find it here.)

This particular tool deals with our pain and pleasure.  We all operate in our lives by looking for pleasure and avoiding pain.  The problem is, we strive for the pleasure or avoidance of pain in the short term results rather than the long term. We will tend to do something that gives us short term pleasure and get pain in the long run.  For instance, I have been having difficulty getting myself out of bed early in the morning.  Why?  Because the short term pleasure (staying in a warm bed) is more important than the long term pain of all the things that don’t get done because I am choosing to go for the short time pleasure.  The following are the steps to take to work through changing a habit that you have.

  1. Ask:  what is the pain associated with this action that keeps me from taking it?
  2. Ask:  what are all the pleasures received by not following through?
  3. Ask:  what is the cost of not taking the steps; in the next 2-5 years?
  4. Ask:  what will be gained by taking the action right now?

So, using my problem of getting up:

  1. The pain associated with getting up is the getting out of a warm bed, feeling tired and finding the pain of waking keeping me hitting the snooze.
  2. The pleasure is that I get to stay in bed all warm and cuddly and I get more sleep which feels so great!
  3. The cost is that I am not getting in to work when I want to, I am often not getting the walks in that I love, I am not getting in my reading time, or my journaling time, or my meditation.  I am not getting the action steps done that I know I must do in order to have the successful business I want.
  4. If I woke up early (when I set my alarm) I would get my walks and meditation done which give me more energy for the day, I would get some of my self improvement things done (reading, journaling) which are helping propel me down the path I am determined to walk down and I would get the things done for my business which will take me closer to my dreams.

So, looking at it like this, my goodness, it is totally obvious what I really want to do, what I must do.  Even if this seems to convince you, there is another step.  The next thing to do is get very solid on why it is you want to make the change.  Write 10 reasons why you want to change the habit, or take the action.  Get very solid and clear. 

By getting clear in our minds why we want to do it and then combine it with some of the tools and techniques talked about in a previous blog, the changed habit will occur soon because you know it must.

As usual I welcome your thoughts and suggestions!

Self Limiting Beliefs

October 15, 2010 by · 8 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

What are Self Limiting Beliefs?

 The topic for the last few weeks has been about dealing with controlling people, dealing with the controlling aspect of ones self, habits, and unconscious and conscious thinking.  My mind has been centered on the topic of self limiting beliefs. 

One way to determine what your self limiting beliefs are is to look at your life. Really analyze it, take out the microscope and look at each area of your life, the physical, financial, your relationships and career.  Are all of these areas moving in exactly the way you want them? Do you have a body that is fit and in shape and have you established habits that will keep it that way?  Are you out of debt and have the money to do the things that you want to do?  Are you set for your retirement?  Do you have money for your children’s school?  How are your relationships?  With your spouse, your kids, your family, friends?  And are you doing what you want to do in your life? Do you feel completely fulfilled?  If any of these areas are not where you want them, then you are experiencing an area where you have self limiting beliefs. 

I found that determining exactly WHAT self limiting beliefs I had was very difficult.  I heard that I needed to change them years ago, but how did I know what self limiting beliefs I had??  if I knew they were self limiting I guess I wouldn’t stll have them?  I realized recently that the reason I had such a big problem with this was because I have issues with actually hearing my own self talk.  All of this self talk was totally happening in my nonconscious or so it seemed.  If you are unable to hear your chatter, chances are you are having the same difficulty.

How do you determine what the self limiting beliefs are if you can’t hear your chatter? 

Understand YOU

The one thing about making a commitment to work on yourself and then taking action and doing small things to improve your life, leads to an improved relationship with yourself.  I am now beginning to hear or recognize that self talk; but that didn’t happen over night. 

Focus on the Nonconscious brain

Because we need to change the habits, change the years of our self limiting beliefs; it is important to start working on the unconscious brain.  If we know we are lacking in certain areas of our life, we know we have self limining beliefs but we often don’t know what they are.  This is actually ok.  The unconscious brain is busier and more powerful than our conscious brain.  So if we focus on changing the nonconscious brain we will, by default, be working on the self limiting beliefs and habits.

We are so lucky to have so many teachers out there teaching us ways to do this.  Science is even studying this area.  The key is to start working on your nonconscious brain. 

 Changing your Nonconscious Brain

 As my posts have been describing our nonconscious brains are extremely powerful.  They are where our habits are created and stored.  This is where self limiting beliefs are created and stored. I first heard of this from Jack Canfield and then again from John Assaraf.  They both describe a study done by NASA.  NASA made astronauts in training wear a set of glasses that turned the world around them upside down.  They were made to wear these glasses for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  What they found surprised them at the time.  They found that after 21-30 days that the astronauts that wore these glasses continuously, suddenly had a switch.  Apparently their brains automatically flipped their world back.  Their brains were trained to turn the world back around right side up even though they were wearing these glasses.  They also found that if anyone removed the glasses ,before this 21-30 day interval, they would have to start completely over and go through another 21-30 day interval to have this phenomena occur.

John Assaraf spent time finding out why this happened and what he found out was that our brains have a RAS (Reticular Activating System).  This is basically a way for our brains to create pathways.  These pathways become the nonconscious beliefs (empowering or self limiting) and the habits (good and bad). That we create.  By working with this system we can change the self limiting beliefs and habits that we want to.  (There is a wiki site explaining this sytem more scientifically for those that wish to follow up on this work.)

The following are some ways and some resources that can assist you in taking steps to work on your nonconscious brain.

Vision Boards

In The Secret; John Assaraf explains how vision boards worked for him; how he had cut out a picture of his dream house and 5 years later unknowningly found himself in that exact home.  Vision boards can be done on poster board, they can be put together in a notebook that you can look through on a regular basis.  I also wrote an article on how to put together a vision board (I called it a vision jpeg) that could be the background of your computer screen.  This article can be found here.

Subliminal Audio and Visual

There are different ways to create subliminal audio and visual tools.  The following are some great ideas if you dont feel like creating your own.  One of these provides you the ability to change the affirmations so that they are custom for you. 

A wonderful application that you can load on your PC and have it run through a set of subliminal applications is called MindMaster.   This application can be customized so that the subliminal messages are yours and they can include words and pictures.  I have been using this myself and have seen awesome results with changing eating habits and also persistence and determination around moving my business forward.  They offer a free trial to try it out.  Click here to get more information.

Another example of something you can put together with your own images, music and words is called Mind Movies.  Click here to find out more information on how you can build a movie that you watch daily that has been customized with pieces that will drive you personally. 

YouTube has some great examples but they wont be fully customized for you personally but are free and are very well done.  Click here for an example on YouTube

As you can see there are so many ways to use some great technology and applications that can assist you in moving the habits and self limiting beliefs to ones that will empower you and assist you in living the

What Is A Habit?

September 27, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

In my last blog I talked about changing habits.  As I read Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani it became crystal clear that I have become quite the expert at some habits.  Some habits that people have are obvious; like over eating or smoking; but there are other habits that we all have that are impacting our lives.  In general, many of these are things that if we never changed, we could live a fairly reasonable life for the rest of our lives.  If we continue to talk meanly to ourselves about how we should be doing this or should be doing that, we will still live reasonable, secure lives.  However, if we want to achieve our dreams, if we want to take a step further towards improved lives; better financially, increased level of happiness and joy – then we could do this by taking a look at ourselves and some of these habits that are keeping us in our comfort zones.

How does a habit become a habit? 

It might help to explain the brain a bit.  There are two parts of your brain the conscious and nonconscious.  I first heard the term nonconscious reading a book by John Assaraf and Murray Smith called The Answer.  The term nonconscious is being used only to differentiate itself from the Freudian term unconscious.  Basically Freud believed that the unconscious brain had some external force causing it to do something and so to make sure that there was no confusion the cognitive theorists used nonconscious to ensure that it was not confused with Freud’s.  Today, the word unconscious is used for both.  Our nonconscious or unconscious brain is much more powerful and busy than our conscious.  The nonconscious brain controls 96-98% of perception and behavior.  96-98%!  No wonder I have had such a difficult time working to improve myself and some things around me.

Our physical and mental habits reside in our nonconscious brains; this is where accomplishments and achievements take root.  Habits are things that we have created by repeatedly doing something over and over. Thinking something over and over again becomes a habit of thought.  Constantly looking in a mirror and talking to your self about how “bad” you or something is becomes a habit.  This habit becomes an attitude or belief over time.  And then beliefs become self-fulfilling.  A belief is very powerful and we do a lot of protecting our beliefs. As we look in a mirror and the self talk chatter starts, as time moves forward and this happens every time we look into a mirror, eventually the talk that takes place is not actually heard any longer.  Suddenly you are believing you are less than perfect or unattractive,  Once this is a belief, our self care isn’t as good, our body language changes – our shoulders come forward, we don’t smile as much and generally create some truth out of what started out as very false self talk.

Wow!  So this is how things that we are working to break through and overcome have become so entrenched in ourselves that they are things that occur without our thinking about and seem so very difficult to get to.  Very difficult to see and to solve.  That – and we are working to solve the problem witho our conscious brain.  Our conscious brain is not good at modifying our habits – only at stating a goal or desire to do so.  Since habits live in our nonconscous that is where they need to be changed.

In order to become successful in our lives and in our attempts to reach dreams and goals we need to work on ourselves.  Personal development and personal growth are important to maximizing happiness.  The better people we become, the better the world can become.  Learning that we need to work at changing the habits and self limiting beliefs in order to move forward has been great information.  I do believe my work is cut out for me!

Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

Controlling People

September 13, 2010 by · 6 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

In my last post I talked about how to deal with people that always have to be right. During my work on this I ran into mention of a book called Controlling People by Patricia Evans.

This book greatly added to my work around this issue.  The first that that she did was describe the relationships.  She described the controller and the witness.

A controller is a person who, as a child, they were created from the outside in.  Menaning that this child was not allowed to get in touch with their inner intuitive feelings and inner self.  They were constantly told how they felt; what they wanted and if they tried to exert themselves they were put down.  She used an example of a mother taking her daughter for ice cream.  She asked her daughter “What kind of ice cream do you want”;

Her daughter replied “Vanilla”

“Oh, you don’t want vanilla, look at all these flavors”

“Vanilla is fine”; repeated the daughter

“How about cotton candy?”

“No, vanilla”

“Just Vanilla? You are a strange one”

This little girl stood her ground.  How often do kids do this?  This little girl was told that she was strange because she doesn’t like vanilla.  So, if the child does not go ahead and choose another kind, they then take on this complex that they are strange, or some other “name” that the parent chooses.  This ultimately builds the child from the outside in.

So controllers are built from the outside in; they are disconnected from their intuitive self; thus they need desperately to be connected to something thus the control aspect kicks in.  Someone that isn’t connected to themselves – they work to connect to others from the outside in and they connect to what Patricia Evans referred to as a witness.  They are a witness because they often experience the controller doing or saying things that are irrational.

The connection a controller has with another becomes their safety zone.

For someone that is built from the outside in also builds others from the outside in.  They have a picture of the “perfect” spouse, or the “perfect” child, or the “perfect” employee or the “perfect” friend.  When this person doesn’t act perfect the controller acts irrational.  This behavior happens basically because the controller becomes afraid of disconnection, they see that the person before them and the person in their mind is not the same therefore they feel loss.  Controllers will see things that don’t exist, they have conversations that never happen, they fight desperately to prove that they are right.

I saw myself in both roles, both a witness (thus my current work) but also in the controller role.  As I have done work on growing and becoming a better person, I believe that the controller in me is easing up; however – I often look at myself and others from the outside in.

Working with this information about controllers and my previous work on dealing with others that always have to be right I am not focusing in on ensuring I continue to do my personal growth and personal development work.  It becomes even more important that I know who I am, what I want and what I stand for.  I need to live my life from my truth thus being able to be the spell-breaker that Patricia Evans also describes in her book and ensure that I am letting others do the same. 

The ideas that Patricia gave on how to break the spell is to

  • live from ones own inner truth
  • respect boundaries
  • do not react to the irrational actions as if they were valid
  • build your life on truth
  • protect your children
  • speak up
    • ask questions of the controller when they say something irrational
      • What?
      • What did you say?
      • Nonsense.
      • I heard that
      • What are you doing?

Would love to hear your thoughts about this post; other recommendations? Comments?  Additional Information?

Why Must They Always Be Right?

August 26, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Play by Play 

Being Right – Is it THAT Important??

I am dealing with something this week that I can’t seem to let go, so I thought I would write about it – that always seems to help me get my mind in order.

Dealing with someone that always has to be right can potentially lead you to believe that you are not accepted for who you are.  Part of my work right now is working to know that I am worth it – that I matter.  So running into people like this for me, are challenging me and making me think harder about this issue.

My thoughts this week have been centered on why is it that there some people that press things and have to be right?  I have a couple people that have crossed my path this week that are in my life on a regular basis but for some reason this week, that are hitting my frustration button.  Maybe it is because one of them challenged my 7 year old daughter, who was actually right.  My daughter can often press that SHE is right about something that I clearly know she is wrong about. But this situation was different, she was right. (OK, so now I am sounding like I have to be right! Hmmmm??)   There are different things that happen, there are some times when someone insists that they are right and you know, like you know you are alive, that they are wrong, then there are times when it is clearly opinion and is something that everyone argues about all the time (religion, politics, abortion, etc)  I am normally able to just let it go.  I thought that if I reviewed the reasons why letting go is good, it would help me this week!

Letting it go – Why does it help you?

 

Time Management:  By not having to be right – you gain a lot more time.  In our busy lives there is a huge incentive to letting things go.  Instead of spending time on hopping on the Internet to find why you are justified and right, putting together the email that shows how you are right and then reading whatever rebuttal is sent back, you have all that time to put towards something much more important. Why waste time trying to establish why you are right?  Is it that big of a deal in the big scheme of life?  Save yourself some time – Let it go!

Stress Management:  Whenever we work on proving ourselves right; there is a level of conflict that arises.  Sometimes this is anger and more often it is frustration. It has been proven in studies that stress impacts our health.  If we can let things go and not have to prove we are right all the time our stress levels will reduce and we will be healthier.

Stronger Relationships – By always having to be right instead of letting things slide; one tends to have rockier relationships; at the very least they will be less authentic.  Many times I will avoid people that need to be proving something all the time.  It isn’t enjoyable to be around someone that needs to be right.  And at other times, I avoid even offering my opinion because it isn’t worth it which means the other person doesn’t REALLY know me.  We can improve our relationships by letting others have their opinion and knowing inside that we are right.

Ego Management – By letting things go and choosing not to argue about something; helps keep that “ego” part of ourselves in check.  Keep in mind that there are MANY definitions of ego and here I mean that defensive part of ourselves, that seems to often be in a fight or flight mode.  The more we exercise management of the defensive monkey brain turf thing, the stronger we  become within ourselves.

It’s important to choose your battles!  There are times that you should stand up! When someone is crossing your boundaries and wants you to do something, and you feel it is wrong, yes – you should stand up and ensure that you always do what feels right for you.

OK, that feels better – – anyone have any other ideas why letting go of needing to be right helps?

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