Self Limiting Beliefs

October 15, 2010 by · 7 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

What are Self Limiting Beliefs?

 The topic for the last few weeks has been about dealing with controlling people, dealing with the controlling aspect of ones self, habits, and unconscious and conscious thinking.  My mind has been centered on the topic of self limiting beliefs. 

One way to determine what your self limiting beliefs are is to look at your life. Really analyze it, take out the microscope and look at each area of your life, the physical, financial, your relationships and career.  Are all of these areas moving in exactly the way you want them? Do you have a body that is fit and in shape and have you established habits that will keep it that way?  Are you out of debt and have the money to do the things that you want to do?  Are you set for your retirement?  Do you have money for your children’s school?  How are your relationships?  With your spouse, your kids, your family, friends?  And are you doing what you want to do in your life? Do you feel completely fulfilled?  If any of these areas are not where you want them, then you are experiencing an area where you have self limiting beliefs. 

I found that determining exactly WHAT self limiting beliefs I had was very difficult.  I heard that I needed to change them years ago, but how did I know what self limiting beliefs I had??  if I knew they were self limiting I guess I wouldn’t stll have them?  I realized recently that the reason I had such a big problem with this was because I have issues with actually hearing my own self talk.  All of this self talk was totally happening in my nonconscious or so it seemed.  If you are unable to hear your chatter, chances are you are having the same difficulty.

How do you determine what the self limiting beliefs are if you can’t hear your chatter? 

Understand YOU

The one thing about making a commitment to work on yourself and then taking action and doing small things to improve your life, leads to an improved relationship with yourself.  I am now beginning to hear or recognize that self talk; but that didn’t happen over night. 

Focus on the Nonconscious brain

Because we need to change the habits, change the years of our self limiting beliefs; it is important to start working on the unconscious brain.  If we know we are lacking in certain areas of our life, we know we have self limining beliefs but we often don’t know what they are.  This is actually ok.  The unconscious brain is busier and more powerful than our conscious brain.  So if we focus on changing the nonconscious brain we will, by default, be working on the self limiting beliefs and habits.

We are so lucky to have so many teachers out there teaching us ways to do this.  Science is even studying this area.  The key is to start working on your nonconscious brain. 

 Changing your Nonconscious Brain

 As my posts have been describing our nonconscious brains are extremely powerful.  They are where our habits are created and stored.  This is where self limiting beliefs are created and stored. I first heard of this from Jack Canfield and then again from John Assaraf.  They both describe a study done by NASA.  NASA made astronauts in training wear a set of glasses that turned the world around them upside down.  They were made to wear these glasses for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  What they found surprised them at the time.  They found that after 21-30 days that the astronauts that wore these glasses continuously, suddenly had a switch.  Apparently their brains automatically flipped their world back.  Their brains were trained to turn the world back around right side up even though they were wearing these glasses.  They also found that if anyone removed the glasses ,before this 21-30 day interval, they would have to start completely over and go through another 21-30 day interval to have this phenomena occur.

John Assaraf spent time finding out why this happened and what he found out was that our brains have a RAS (Reticular Activating System).  This is basically a way for our brains to create pathways.  These pathways become the nonconscious beliefs (empowering or self limiting) and the habits (good and bad). That we create.  By working with this system we can change the self limiting beliefs and habits that we want to.  (There is a wiki site explaining this sytem more scientifically for those that wish to follow up on this work.)

The following are some ways and some resources that can assist you in taking steps to work on your nonconscious brain.

Vision Boards

In The Secret; John Assaraf explains how vision boards worked for him; how he had cut out a picture of his dream house and 5 years later unknowningly found himself in that exact home.  Vision boards can be done on poster board, they can be put together in a notebook that you can look through on a regular basis.  I also wrote an article on how to put together a vision board (I called it a vision jpeg) that could be the background of your computer screen.  This article can be found here.

Subliminal Audio and Visual

There are different ways to create subliminal audio and visual tools.  The following are some great ideas if you dont feel like creating your own.  One of these provides you the ability to change the affirmations so that they are custom for you. 

A wonderful application that you can load on your PC and have it run through a set of subliminal applications is called MindMaster.   This application can be customized so that the subliminal messages are yours and they can include words and pictures.  I have been using this myself and have seen awesome results with changing eating habits and also persistence and determination around moving my business forward.  They offer a free trial to try it out.  Click here to get more information.

Another example of something you can put together with your own images, music and words is called Mind Movies.  Click here to find out more information on how you can build a movie that you watch daily that has been customized with pieces that will drive you personally. 

YouTube has some great examples but they wont be fully customized for you personally but are free and are very well done.  Click here for an example on YouTube

As you can see there are so many ways to use some great technology and applications that can assist you in moving the habits and self limiting beliefs to ones that will empower you and assist you in living the

Controlling People

September 13, 2010 by · 4 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

In my last post I talked about how to deal with people that always have to be right. During my work on this I ran into mention of a book called Controlling People by Patricia Evans.

This book greatly added to my work around this issue.  The first that that she did was describe the relationships.  She described the controller and the witness.

A controller is a person who, as a child, they were created from the outside in.  Menaning that this child was not allowed to get in touch with their inner intuitive feelings and inner self.  They were constantly told how they felt; what they wanted and if they tried to exert themselves they were put down.  She used an example of a mother taking her daughter for ice cream.  She asked her daughter “What kind of ice cream do you want”;

Her daughter replied “Vanilla”

“Oh, you don’t want vanilla, look at all these flavors”

“Vanilla is fine”; repeated the daughter

“How about cotton candy?”

“No, vanilla”

“Just Vanilla? You are a strange one”

This little girl stood her ground.  How often do kids do this?  This little girl was told that she was strange because she doesn’t like vanilla.  So, if the child does not go ahead and choose another kind, they then take on this complex that they are strange, or some other “name” that the parent chooses.  This ultimately builds the child from the outside in.

So controllers are built from the outside in; they are disconnected from their intuitive self; thus they need desperately to be connected to something thus the control aspect kicks in.  Someone that isn’t connected to themselves – they work to connect to others from the outside in and they connect to what Patricia Evans referred to as a witness.  They are a witness because they often experience the controller doing or saying things that are irrational.

The connection a controller has with another becomes their safety zone.

For someone that is built from the outside in also builds others from the outside in.  They have a picture of the “perfect” spouse, or the “perfect” child, or the “perfect” employee or the “perfect” friend.  When this person doesn’t act perfect the controller acts irrational.  This behavior happens basically because the controller becomes afraid of disconnection, they see that the person before them and the person in their mind is not the same therefore they feel loss.  Controllers will see things that don’t exist, they have conversations that never happen, they fight desperately to prove that they are right.

I saw myself in both roles, both a witness (thus my current work) but also in the controller role.  As I have done work on growing and becoming a better person, I believe that the controller in me is easing up; however – I often look at myself and others from the outside in.

Working with this information about controllers and my previous work on dealing with others that always have to be right I am not focusing in on ensuring I continue to do my personal growth and personal development work.  It becomes even more important that I know who I am, what I want and what I stand for.  I need to live my life from my truth thus being able to be the spell-breaker that Patricia Evans also describes in her book and ensure that I am letting others do the same. 

The ideas that Patricia gave on how to break the spell is to

  • live from ones own inner truth
  • respect boundaries
  • do not react to the irrational actions as if they were valid
  • build your life on truth
  • protect your children
  • speak up
    • ask questions of the controller when they say something irrational
      • What?
      • What did you say?
      • Nonsense.
      • I heard that
      • What are you doing?

Would love to hear your thoughts about this post; other recommendations? Comments?  Additional Information?

The Power – by Rhonda Byrne NEW RELEASE

July 26, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: New Releases 

The Power by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret revealed the law of attraction. Now Rhonda Byrne reveals the greatest power in the universe — The Power to have anything you want. In this book you will come to understand that all it takes is just one thing to change your relationships, money, health, happiness, career, and your entire life. Every discovery, invention, and human creation comes from The Power. Perfect health, incredible relationships, a career you love, a life filled with happiness, and the money you need to be, do, and have everything you want, all come from The Power. The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power — to have everything good in your life — is inside you. To create anything, to change anything, all it takes is just one thing…THE POWER.

About the Author

Rhonda Byrne’s intention is to bring joy to billions. She began her journey with The Secret film, viewed by millions. She followed with The Secret book, a worldwide bestseller now available in 46 languages. Now, with The Power, Rhonda Byrne reveals the single greatest force in our Universe.