Thinking

September 21, 2010 by · Comments Off
Filed under: Play by Play 

“Change requires action, not reflection; motivation, not passivity; desire, not apathy; and a willingnes to see the truth rather than fiction. But most important, change requires that you recognize that no one and nothing is going to change you- except you.” –Joseph J. Luciani

Care of David Reece-Flickr

I am writing this on a plane… on the way to Atlanta on a business trip.  I actually love airplane flights, they give me time to read or often, time to just think.  Thinking is something that happens all the time, but on a plane, it can be directed thinking.  I just finished reading Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani.  As I have been working through my part in the problems in my life I continue to work on how I can move beyond some of the self sabatoging things I do.

As I am working through how to personally grow and work towards a life where I am working in the personal development industry I know that working and growing myself will always be something I concentrate on. I have been doing this type of work for almost 20 years.  I liked Self Coaching – I liked the book because I know that for me what so many things boil down to, is my thinking and my self talk.  Much of my thinking is unconscious; however as I have focused in on my self, I seem to be getting to a place where I am starting to become much more conscious of my thinking.  I know that as I grow and think about helping others do the same I believe one key is to start hearing and knowing the throughts that are going through my head.  I am often really hard on myself and haven’t recognized it.  Now that I am recognizing it, it hurts. I have felt sadness over this and some anger – anger at circumstances that helped form this; but then there is realization that I have control.  I have full control to change myself and my thinking so that I can get to the place I am trying to reach.  Circumstances and things in my life are just that; I can choose to accept them and learn to realize that I don’t have to continue reacting the same way to them.  I choose to step out and make the necessary changes to myself that will allow me take my life where I want to go.

One thing that this book said that I resonated with is that negative self talk, thinking and self sabatage is a habit.  It is something I started doing very young and have really learned to do very well.  I am an expert at it; so expert, that it has become natural.  This book has taught me that I need to break these habits.  There are habits of guilt that arise from thinking that I should do this and that I should do that.  There are habits of not supporting myself; feeling deep down that I can not succeed at something that I really love; or that I may not be worthy of the success. 

It isn’t that I haven’t had success – I have been very successful at many things in my life; however – as I strive to achieve the goal of working my passion I seem to stop before I  try; I keep changing directions and having too many things to do and not taking enough action. 

To me, Self Coaching suggests to first recognize that the struggling of life is due to the habits that we have formed as we have tried to control life.  It suggests working on identifying the faulty thoughts that we think about things and to separate fact from fiction.   The next step is to realize that you can choose to flip a switch and change the faulty thinking and turn the self talk to truths and see and believe the positive side of things. Then, it suggests to let go. Just let the thoughts that are sabatoging our life float away, like a balloon caught in the air drifing away.  Then you need to ensure that you are working to believe the positive aspects of your life, having positive thoughts alone will not work, there needs to be a point where you BELIEVE the positive aspects of life.  As this happens and successful challenges can be met, you will gain some energy that will allow you to keep up with the new way of doing things so that over time, the old habits of faulty thinking will be changed to a new habit of thinking and seeing the reality of life.  That there is always a way to work your way out of any hole. You can do it.

Luciani pointed out that there are three truths:

  • Let Life Unfold, there are no dead ends; only obstacles.
  • Trust that your instincts and intuition will serve you
  • Know that every problem has a solution although it may not immediately appear.

“Motivation isn’t mysterious. It’s the energy you feel when you are willing to risk believing that you can change your life.” – Joseph J. Luciani

I am willing to risk this belief, anyone with me?

Enjoy The Journey!

August 16, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Play by Play 

We have wants and desires and we want them now.  We put pressure on ourselves and our desires. Right NOW!  Our culture is full of over spending and debt due to a lack of self discipline and a need for instant gratification. It is full of people who work to start businesses but can’t get them going and then they blame others.  We start moving towards our dreams and goals and because it doesn’t happen quickly enough we stop; we give up.  We often stop dreaming or wishing for things to be different because the stress associated with our lack of patience drives us to start living life day to day without the dreams and wishes that can lead us down paths towards a better life.

“Impatience is only another form of resistance. It is resistance to learning and changing. When we demand that it be done right now, completed at once, then we don’t give ourselves time to learn the lesson involved with the problem we have created.”  Louise Hay

I’d like to suggest that we look at everything we want like a vacation.  We would not look forward to a vacation, have the first day get there, and then go to work that day.  We would not look at a destination and then not take the steps, or the car, or the airplane to get to our destination.  We must make the journey.  We must get in the car, the airplane, or take the steps towards that destination.  

Looking forward to vacation we get excited and anxious for the first day to arrive.  We get more done on that last day before vacation than several days combined prior.  Then the day arrives, WE ARE ON VACATION!! We head to an airport, or we pack the car or perhaps we just sleep in.  Each day, each sight we drink in and savor and as it comes to an end we get mixed feelings.  Some sadness that it’s ending but also some relief that we are getting back to our routine.

In the journey we need to savor the daily events, the things we see, the giggles and laughing and bird song that we hear, the people that we meet and the learning of new things we would not have learned or done had we not had to wait for that end desire.

“Do not judge the journey by the path you’re now on:  Like driving cross country you can’t possibly know in advance if or where you may encounter detours, hairpin turns or passing cars with noses and whatnot pressed to the window; moreover little if any of the scenery you travel through will remotely resemble the destination you have in mind yet neither the constellations you see, nor the unexpected maneuvers you take will ever mean you aren’t headed exactly where you want to go as swiftly as possible getting closer every flippin day.” Mike Dooley

Yes, sometimes it DOES take a long time…but look at it this way… you get more opportunity for learning new things, doing new things and meeting new people all of which will help you have a better end result.